twenty-three

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Naomi Black

How is it that there was never you until there was? And then all was you.

I had such a crush on Matti Williams and trying to keep it a secret was the best thing to possibly do. I wanted to stay as hidden from his life as possible even after someone released pictures. I woke up the morning after our Pittsburgh sleepover with the golden boy's arms around me. I was geeking for him.

However, the girls weren't as excited.

Which made sense. I mean all he did was make me cry- but those days are over. Naomi Black wasn't raised by no bitch.

Maybe by a drug addict.

But I wasn't raised by no bitch.

It's been a week since Pittsburgh and since that lovely morning filled with chaos, I have been hitting the books like Pete would hit the opposing team's linemen. Griff and Matti were the only two to stay the night, but getting Matti up in the morning was equivalent to getting a toddler ready for preschool.

First of all, the boys had to be out the door and on the bus by noon. Which was an absolute task because everyone besides myself was hungover. I was on some type of high. I think it's just my brain releasing dopamine because I'm happy, but Finn calls it the "Matti high". Of course, as soon as those words flew out of her mouth I told her to shut up.

Not because it wasn't true.

But because if he were to hear it, I'm pretty sure his head would've gotten so big he wouldn't have been able to fit his way out the door.

I wasn't trying to get attached because everything I had been living for at that very moment changed as soon as I brought him to my mom. I had never done that. I never had visited that corner in Pittsburgh either.

But I did it with him.

And if it went wrong I guess I can just say I gave him a tour before he lived in a mansion there.

Nursing school was getting down to the wire and even I was stressed. The amount of coffee I was drinking was keeping me up all night when I should've been sleeping. When I woke up, I could drink more coffee and study again.

I however kept myself calm with the soothing voices of One Direction and Kacey Musgraves. My bed had become my best friend. Fall break was only a few days but those few days felt like nothing because it was filled with stress. While everyone went home for these past few days, I stayed in Happy Valley because I needed to focus.

I had not seen Matti since he had left for fall break four days ago.

And I'm not complaining because my body needed a break.

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