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"𝑰 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆,"
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word count: 1239 words
warnings: none
OF COURSE, SHE WAS wearing that dress. The dress that I had told her made her look like the most beautiful girl in any room. The dress that elevated her breasts so that every time she took a breath I felt my stomach tighten. The dress that exposed her collarbones in a way that made me want to press my lips against every part of them. The light blue dress that made her cheeks look even pinker when she blushed and made me blush in return.
She stood at the top of the staircase, Anthony on her arm. Head slightly tilted upwards like she owned the room which, looking like that she probably did. Her hair was up in an intricate braid of some type and showed off her neck. As I came to the realization of what necklace she was wearing, I had to fight the urge to not throw up. Eloise was wearing the necklace Lord Raymond had given her.
James Raymond had visited our house the day before with flowers and a necklace for Eloise, who had been acting incredibly strange ever since we snuck out to smoke. So strange she accepted the flowers and the necklace without any complaints.
I had no clue if she was mad at me for nearly kissing her, or mad at me for not kissing her, or had something completely different going on. It wasn't as if I could ask her about it. Any time I would make eye contact with her or opened my mouth to say something like "Could you pass the biscuits?" she would bolt from the room like a deer. This was taking a toll on my heart. If anything at all I at least wanted to be her friend, but she appeared currently unable to grant that current wish.
"Why have I not yet seen you on the dance floor Miss Windsor?" a regal sounding voice interrupted my intrusive thoughts. I turned to see the Queen standing behind me, looking unimpressed.
"Your Majesty," I stuttered in unison, clumsily trying my best to curtsy.
"Miss Windsor I have stated that you are my favourite debutant of the season, which contradicts the Ton's opinion," the Queen's face looked annoyed, "and my favourite debutant had yet to dance at her third ball, could you tell me why that is,"
I had nothing honest to say, nor could I come up with any excuse.
"That is because she was waiting for me," Benedict slid in beside me and offered me his hand. I looked at El, and then at The Queen and then back to Ben.
"Yes, of course," I put on the fakest smile I could conjure and took Benedict's hand, allowing him to lead me to the dance floor.
I checked over my shoulder, once to see if El was looking at me, she wasn't.
"Is there any specific reason you have spent the entire evening avoiding the dance floor?" Benedict asked as the music started. His hand was on my waist and I placed mine on his shoulder.
"No," I looked away.
"You are a terrible liar Aurelia," I rolled my eyes at him. Usually, I was quite a good liar, but I seemed to be off my game tonight.
I glanced back at El and her eyes met mine for a moment. Even though she stood above me her eyelashes covered her eyes enough to give off an illusion as if I were looking down on her. I could feel my heartbeat faster with each step she took down the stairs until it was nearly pounding out of my chest.
Suitors swarmed her as she reached the bottom of the stairs and I felt my eyes grow hot with tears. I let go of Benedict's hand and exited the dancefloor, staring at my feet I walked as quickly as I could towards the side door. I really should have looked up a little bit, because I ran right into my Lord Granville in my attempt to escape.
"Hey, where are you going?" Lord Granville asked with concern as he noticed the tears in my eyes, "Are you okay?" I shook my head and my vision blurred with hot tears. He ushered me through the side door, down the hallway and then into a side office.
"I- apologize, my Lord," he handed me his pocket square to wipe away my tears. The poor fellow looked like he only wanted to help but I couldn't muster up the words to explain to him how I felt without getting myself thrown in jail.
"Please call me Henry," he leaned back on the desk, "why were you crying, Miss Windsor? Was it Benedict Bridgerton's clumsy dance moves?"
"You can call me Lia," I smiled slightly at his joke, "and no it's not about that specific Bridgerton,"
"Well if It's not Ben the only other Bridgerton I have seen you spend most of your time with would be Miss Eloise," realization shone upon his face and he looked back at me, "What did Miss Eloise do to you?" I looked away from him, "or is it something she didn't do?" a sob choked out from where I was trying to restrain it. Henry rushed over and ushered me into an embrace.
"I-" I started before the tears flooded my cheeks.
"It's okay Lia, let it all out," his voice was so calming and kind that I felt myself talking before I had a chance to think about the words that were coming out of my mouth.
"I get it, Henry, the feeling they talk about in books when someone you love doesn't feel the same about you," his eyes gave me a kind and soft look, "I can feel my heart breaking Henry, and no not like when I lost my parents, this feels so different. When my parents died I just felt empty, now I feel like my heart is being ripped in half. Half of me wants to run in there and tell her how I feel, wants to kiss her without a care in the world. The other rational part of me knows that will never happen," I cried between sobs.
"It's all going to be okay my dear, I too was once in the same situation you are currently in and I know exactly how it feels." he let go and gave me a small smile, "Do you want to come with me to a party?" well I was not expecting that question, and my face reflected my emotions, "It's a place where people like you and I can be ourselves without fear that someone is judging us,"
Such a place couldn't exist, could it?
"Benedict I do not wish t-," I turned to see Benedict dragging a hesitant Eloise into the office.
"Eloise and I were conc-," Ben started.
"Lia are you alright," Eloise's hesitancy had since turned to empathy as she saw the tears streaming down my face.
"Think about it Lia," Henry said as he left the room, making sure I knew his offer of a party still standing.
The door closed behind them, leaving me and El alone.
