This is a sequel to 'crazy story '
After a crazy roller coaster ride last year , Kennedy attempts to cope with being without someone she fell in love deeply with , while Von has to learn how to let go. Will they let the universe decide if their b...
"They say he drawin' symbols in the sand 'til his pain gone, baby They say he movin' onto the land where the gate close, baby They say he drawin' symbols in the sand 'til his pain gone, baby They say he movin' onto the land where the gate close, baby"
~yb.
Kennedy banks pov
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I look down at king with tears on the brim of my eyes as he sucks down his bottle tiredly .
I sniff a little an exhale trying not to wet his face up with the tears that's been coming out my eyes since I woke up . I don't know why I'm crying but I can't control them and I've been trying
Von and I made up yesterday so it's not because of him , I haven't started my period yet so it's not that . All I know is my mind is spinning and my thoughts have been nothing but negative .
I've honestly never felt this bad before but I know only one thing that's going to bring me to peace and clarity . I can't continue to live in a lie and act like everything's fine . I can't wait for Von forever because all he's going to do is butter me up and make me turn away from the truth until everything crashes down at one time . It's time for me to do things myself !
I slowly pull the bottle out of kings mouth and he slowly smacks his lips to clean up the excess milk from his mouth . I lay him down in his crib then reach into my jogger pocket to pull out an envelope .
I slowly open the envelope and pull out the wrapped up q-tip in it . I unwrap it and hesitantly reach into the crib towards kings mouth stopping right before I reach it
What am I doing ? This is beyond wrong and I know it . If it was my child being tested by Vons new girlfriend I would be pissed off but I just can't hold it in anymore .
I wish I wasn't so selfish and wanted to make such an irrational decision to test king myself but I feel as though it's the only time it's going to get done .
Vons probably going to hate me for this , especially if he doesn't like the results , but I can't keep being depressed everyday while he hesitates . I just need to stick to my first gut and do it . Just do it !
I slowly swab kings mouth and he moves around the crib scrunching up his face . "I'm sorry " I mumble sadly stick the q-tip back in the envelope and stuffing it back in my pocket .
As I look back down at king I feel nothing but guilt fill my bones.
Out of all the poor decisions I've made in my life time , this is probably the worst one . It's so sneaky and untruthful but as soon as I get the clarity I need I will be fine . I would rather be living in guilt than in a lie .
I don't even want to imagine how Vons going to react when I tell him . Especially since I'm not telling him until the results come back in . If I tell him before I turn it in he'll probably make me throw it away or not let me send it back at all . I'm not letting him stop me from getting the truth this time . He can't keep running away from this problem. It has to get resolved.
