The Blind Artist (Frerard MCR Fanfic)

Chapter 16

*A/N: Just going to say I love you all for the great feedback, it really makes my day, so please enjoy reading as much as I love writing- there will be another update next Sunday and some time in the week after that!

Chapter 16

I stand at the stove stirring the soup I’m making for Gerard and I, lately we had become sniffly and with my weak immune system I knew it wouldn’t be long before I was in bed sneezing my brains out and barely able to stand. Gee had yet to taste my soup, it was famous and something I had valued from my heritage as one of the only things the ‘Iero men’ could cook. The smell of the chicken stock I had just poured into the mix of vegetables made my mouth water and my eyes close savoring the rich aroma of hearty food.

“Sometimes I wonder if you are just here for my kitchen.” His voice startles me and I turn to face him with one hand over my heart and the other holding the soup covered wooden spoon.

He looks divine. He had locked himself in his locked room all day but he hadn’t changed since he came down for breakfast this morning. Splotches of color sprayed and decorated his smooth milky white skin of his chest, since I had been with him he was no longer the skin and bones I worried over; he was thicker more lean and he had somehow grown defined. Although Gerard would never have a six pack, he was still perfect and I couldn’t stop myself from following the scattering of hair that ran low into his bat pajama bottoms.

I wonder how far that trial ran…. “Holy Fu-ck!” I yelp as the steaming liquid scalds my skin causing me to drop the spoon and wipe the trail of drawl from my chin as I clean my hands. I glance over to Gee to see him sat at the counter with a smirk gracing his face as if he knew my eyes had been smothering him from head to toe.

“Maybe this cooking thing is more of a death trap than a blessing… damn, just as I was getting used to the taste of real food.” I hear him chuckle behind me and turns be around from staring at the chopping board I still hadn’t cleared yet. I am caged in his arms as he finds my hand where I am clutching it to my chest, it doesn’t hurt all that much but I don’t stop him as he brings it to his lips and kisses right over where it hurt the most as I just look up at him into those big coffee colored eyes that are beginning to fade away from me again.

I never thought it would be like this, I never thought I’d have this seemingly normal aspect of life, where we fell into routine. Living co-operatively; routine of watching movies, eating together, and cooking together.

I mean I never thought I’d be in one of those relationships… where there may be people are out there living their ideas of glamorous lives. They’re getting bottle service at clubs and attending exclusive wine tastings and dancing around at EDM concerts. But you’re standing over the stove together, watching water boil and feeling more content than you ever have before. Other people are out wearing designer crew cuts and 3-piece suits. But the two of you are all pajama pants and t-shirts and fuzzy socks and sweatshirts, and you’ve never been more attracted to each other. One of you is cutting up peppers while the other one works on the pasta. And even though it’s the simplest thing and the simplest night, you feel the foundations of a steady partnership, and right now you feel that’s all you need.

I just never thought I’d get used to us. There isn’t an ‘us’ you idiot, get your head out of your heart. There will never be an ‘us’. My internal devil snaps at me, snapping myself away from the warmth of his body and away from the dream in my head. How could I be so stupid?

“Tell me about yourself.” I say, thinking of the only thing that came to mind, it was foolish of me to think I had some sort of relationship yet I knew nothing about him.

“There’s not much to tell.” He shrugs and places himself back to his original seat at the counter looking shrunken and introvert.

“Surely there must be something. Like tell me about your family, your interests, your dream job, first fist fight; something like that?” I hint with a teasing tone, I could never imagine Gerard in a fight with anyone, like ever, he just had this soft look to him which didn’t come easy living in Jersey. He had soft feminine hands that couldn’t hurt a fly if he wanted to.

“I have Mikey, I have parents, I like comic and I like art, so my dream job would be a comic book writer; and Jack Dornan in the eighth grade because he ate the candy-bar I had been saving for recess.” He lists off in his low monotone, I give him a raised eyebrow at the last one and he chuckles. “What I was a fat kid, I needed all the candy bars I could get, I had a rep to protect.”

“Oh yeah of course, never cross a drama queen at snack time.” I chuckle and perch myself onto the counter next to him, as he senses me there he gives me a soft push on my shoulder and I break into laughter before I settle down again.

Your secrets. Your goals. Your dreams. Your fears. Your greatest flaws. Your biggest failures. Your weakest moments. Opening yourself up completely to someone else is one of the scariest things you can do. It’s the reason why those conversations make you feel more intimate. You know each other. You know the parts of each other that suck and the parts of each other that you keep hidden and the parts of each other that you’re each ashamed of.  But I wasn’t ready to release my demons just yet, and neither was he.

It settles silent for a moment before he turns his face to me, “Why me?” he almost whispers it.

I frown and try searching his face for any indication as to what he’s saying.

“Why put up with me?” he looks down at his hands with guilt and pain across his forehead, it scrunches up and I see his nose crinkle up with it.

I take his chin and pull his faced to meet mine, “Because you’re different, there’s something about you, but you won’t let me read you to find out.” I let his chin go but he keeps his head turned to look up at me. I don’t know why he’s asking me this, I don’t know what to reply when he is so close to cracking that casing around my heart.

“Then why take this job? Why agree to something you had no idea about, you could be out there doing what you are trained for, out saving lives.” He shakes his head and begins to draw lazy circles on his hand, his leg jumps and he twitches in his seat like he can’t keep still.

“Because everyone needs someone, no matter who they are, no matter what has happened or what will happen, they just don’t know it until they have it.” I say looking back into those gold and oatmeal eyes, the look he gives me rattles my core, it burns my chest and makes me breathe quiver as I let my heart finally fall for him.