Chapter 48 - Did he desire me, or who I was supposed to be?

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I don't love casually. When I love, it's fierce. It's my soul ripped wide open and raw. It's my whole heart on display. It's all I have and everything I know, handed over to you like a gift. And I hope you unwrap it gently. 

- Stephanie Bennett-Henry


"How is Draco doing? I've barely seen him around", Tracey asked on our way to our first Potions lesson. Our schedule had become a lot lighter this year. I had only seven courses left, since we had to elect a few for our N.E.W.T.-years, leaving more free time. Most of that free time however, would be spent in the library as most teachers had given the impression that they would not hold back on homework.

"I'm not quite sure, I've barely seen him myself", I mumbled. I worried about him. Not only had he only elected four N.E.W.T. classes, Transfiguration, Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Charms, he seemed like a ghost. I only saw him at lunch and supper, if he decided to show up. He was always either off somewhere or in his dorm, never in the common room.

I knew he was worried about the task Lord Voldemort had given him, but I was worried about him too.

"They're all staring at you, Lea", Daphne frowned as we passed a group of second-years who gave us a wide berth.

"They're wondering whether I've turned into a Death Eater or not", I shrugged, which was the truth. Ever since the news of my father got out, people started treating me differently, even at school. They had always known I was from a darker family, but it usually resulted in respect. Now it resulted in fear, as if they thought I was evil.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're sixteen", Tracey huffed. I forced out a smile. Yeah, how terrible it would be to turn a sixteen-year old into a Death Eater.

We entered the Potions classroom, which suddenly seemed a whole lot more uplifting without the presence of professor Snape. At the front of the classroom was Horace Slughorn, beaming next to three cauldrons.

I had heard about the man before, as he was a former Slytherin and part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. He was not on our side, though, and didn't have close relations with any people in our social circle either. I wasn't quite sure what his opinion on Lord Voldemort's side was. He seemed to be somewhere in between the Selwyn and Weasley family.

"Come together, take your book, come on", he said awkwardly, scanning over the faces of his students. I noticed Draco in the far back, but he avoided my gaze.

We were going to have a firm talk about this after class. He promised me that it'd only be one and a half months.

Professor Slughorn was about to start his lesson when Potter and his redheaded sidekick walked in. I hated people who weren't punctual.

The girl next to me was staring at the redhead with heart eyes. I frowned as I watched him trying to get out of attending the class. He really wasn't my type.

"Nonsense, every friend of Harry is a friend of mine", Slughorn said. I tried my hardest not to roll my eyes. So he was one of those, a Harry Potter fanboy.

The two went to grab a book in the cabinet in the back. I tried to focus on the cauldrons in front of me, but was constantly interrupted by the sighs of the Gryffindor girl next to me. She was bloody annoying.

"I prepared some concoctions this morning. Any idea as to what they might be?" Slughorn said, finally continuing his lesson. I leaned forward to look at what was in them, but the Granger girl already had her hand in the air.

Slughorn elected her to come forward, like all teachers did. She leaned forward and inspected the potions, starting her monologue. She sounded like a walking dictionary.

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