Game of Thrones - One Shots/Imagines: Part Three

Sandor Clegane X Reader - Don't Speak

A/N - This chapter is based on the song 'Don't Speak' by No Doubt (I adore this song and can't believe I haven't used it for a chapter before.) I hope you all enjoy it. 

It had taken you a long time to come to the conclusion that you were in love with Sandor. Months of travelling together and feigning indifference until the emotion had bubbled over. Since that moment, you'd been practically inseparable. You spent every second of every day together. Gods, you'd never been so comfortable with anyone, and suddenly you were acting like an old married couple. It was nice, if not a little frightening at times. 

It wasn't until you reached Winterfell that you truly decided it was time to put a label on your relationship. After all, you'd not had a soul to tell but each other, and now people were beginning to ask questions. Sansa has been the first to interrogate you, her brows furrowed as you stuttered through some explanation of what was going on. And then, before anyone else could ask, you'd gone directly to Sandor with questions of your own. 

"Are we going to get married someday?" Sandor had stiffened at your question, his heart thudding loudly in his chest, where your head rested comfortably. 

"I don't know," he answered quietly, desperately hoping that you wouldn't push for a better response. 

You shifted to look up at him, your chin propped up on his chest. "I won't be mad if you say no," you told him softly, sending him your sweetest smile. "I just want to know what you think."

He glanced down at your for a moment. If he had lived a normal life it would have been easy to give you an answer. A strong, resounding yes. In fact, he would have married you months ago if he had intended on staying around long enough to spend his life with you. "Marriage has never appealed to me," he lied, reaching up to touch your cheek lightly. "Ask me again when the war is over." 

You nodded slightly, pressing a soft kiss to his bare skin before settling down again, allowing yourself to be drawn into a restful sleep.

*Time Skip*

You had known that the day would come when you would have to say goodbye to Sandor, but you had never intended for it to come so early in your life. He had been acting strangely from the moment you had left Winterfell to march for King's Landing, and the closer you got, the more distant he became. It had terrified you at first, the idea of him closing himself off from you again, but soon enough you had grown used to the quiet. 

And then the day of the battle had come. Sandor and Arya had been plotting out their tactics for days on end, fixing every little hole in their plan before it could become a problem, but still you felt sick to your stomach as you watched him ready himself. 

It was then that everything had clicked for you. Sandor had never mentioned an exit strategy. He'd never discussed where he would meet you when the dust had settled. He had no intention of leaving the Capital alive. Your breath caught in your throat as the realisation hit you, and you simply stared at him in horror.

"What's wrong, Sweetness?" 

"Don't-" you uttered, the words falling short as you shook your head at him. "Just, stop pretending that everything is normal," you added, tucking your legs up under your body as you tried to stop the pain from flaring inside of you. 

"I don't-"

"I'm not stupid, Sandor. I know that you aren't coming back." 

Sandor released a small sigh, standing completely still in the middle of the tent he'd erected for the two of you. It was the only place in the camp that the two of you could be alone, and from tonight, you wouldn't even have him to keep you company. "I need to do this-"

"Don't explain it. It hurts enough already without hearing whatever ridiculous excuse you've convinced yourself is worth your life," you bit out, running your hands up to massage at your temples. It was as if another realisation had hit you out of nowhere, your eyes widening as you looked up at him in horror. "Is this why you didn't want to marry me?" 

Another sigh fell out of Sandor, a deeper sound than the last that would have pained you if you weren't already aching from the current topic of conversation. "I can't make you a widow, Sweetness. This way you'll be able to find a husband without-"

"Do you really think I'm going to care about marriage prospects when you're gone?" you interrupted, pure pain etched into your expression as you watched him. "Do you think I would happily marry someone else when I've lost the only man I have ever loved? When I've lost my best friend?" 

"I don't want to hurt you," he murmured, his voice catching in his throat as he took a step closer, hesitating when you shook your head. 

"Then don't leave me like this." 

Sandor tilted his head back, his gaze focusing on the fabric ceiling of the tent for a moment. "I can't-" 

"Yes you can," you bit out, silencing him before he could finish his sentence. "You don't have to do anything at all. Just tell Arya no." 

When his eyes found yours again, they were rimmed red, tears brimming. He had never acted like this before. You had seen the broken side of him, but never tears. "I-" he started, the words dying on his tongue before he could say them. "Alright. I'll stay." 

You had your eyes pressed closed a moment later, releasing a breath of relief as you allowed the anger to fade from you. Holding out a hand in his direction, you waited patiently until he linked his fingers with yours, letting you pull him close to you. "Thank you," you whispered as he knelt in front of you, his free hand touching your cheek. When your eyes opened, they met his, shining as he watched you. You leant forward, pressing your forehead to his. "Thank you," you repeated.

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