˖⁺ ☁ 𝐁𝐗𝐁 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 🕊⋆ .⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹

𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛 - 𝚓𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚕 - 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚎

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚏𝚎
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«☕️»𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: jack passes is away in a car accident, and daniel doesn't know how to cope.

«🫖»𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: funeral

«🥐»𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍: 𝚗𝚘
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«🧇» 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝: 𝚗𝚘
«🥧» 𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍
══════ ⋆☽⋆ ══════
«🧋» 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎
«🥖» 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚜 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

d a n i e l

its hard knowing that he's gone. it hurts even more because it was neither of our faults. it was someone else's. a stupid prick who was too invested in his phone to watch the goddamn road. i don't really remember much of the phone call i got that day. the words "jack seavey is gone" rattled through my body and echoed in my mind. that was the day i truly lost my mind. i didn't go to the funeral, well i didn't go when everyone else was around. seeing him lying so still in the casket that was picked out by his parents, made my heart explode. i think of that moment everyday, angry at myself for not saying enough, for saying too much or not the right words. 

"jack?," i whispered, touching is face slowly, terrified i might break it, "please wake up. please just open your eyes and tell me your joking. tell me your lying baby, TELL ME!" i screamed and i cried. i begged and i pleaded. "PLEASE WAKE UP! WAKE THE FUCK UP JACK!" i screamed till my throat felt like it was shredding, my voice gone a few days after. "STAY HERE! YOU PROMISED ME! JUST WAKE UP!" i prayed and i hoped, begging the lord to give life to my husband but he just simply looked down to me and said "no"

everything became a challenge, i guess it still is. mission impossible. eating, working, breathing, moving. the house just reminded me of the person who should be there with me. the other half of me, the best goddamn fucking person. my heart was just in constant agonising pain. knowing that couldn't hear him speak again, shattered my soul and i watched it blow away in a storm.

i only recently started using past tense nouns when talking about jack, considering he died two years ago. "you said 'used to', jack", my friend jonah pointed out. "what?" i asked confused, "youre talking about jack and you said 'used to'."

 i was annoyed that he brought that up, angry at myself for even thinking that he's gone, but i knew he meant nothing by it. everyone is trying to help me move on, but i'm terrified to leave jack behind, to forget him. i want to be free of this pain, i want to be happy again and be the person jack wants me to be but i don't think i'll be able to. moving out, new town maybe, meet someone new. i just can't do this, i can't do this without jack. 

j a c k 

"i'm right here baby, i'm right here," i whispered as i watched daniel scream and cry at my corpse, lying in a casket in a church hall. "PLEASE WAKE UP! WAKE THE FUCK UP JACK!" he screamed again. i had shut my eyes tightly and blocked my ears, hating to hear the love of my life, screaming and crying out for me. all because someone couldn't pay attention to the road. "i can't dani, you know i cant wake up," i said to him, looking him in the eyes, but he saw right through me.

after the funeral, i couldn't recognise him. "please get out of bed dani, just lift your head, raise an arm," i would whisper, just hoping he could somehow hear me so he could move from that  bed. he did move, two weeks later. zach and jonah, our best friends, would come in and push him to sit up, try and get him to eat, but the meals would just rot and daniel would slowly starve himself. 

hearing daniel using past tense nouns when speaking about me, made me smile, i just couldn't be more proud. seeing him go through hell because of me has just been absolutely morbid. some days i couldn't even make my way to earth, knowing that i'd just watch him struggle. i preferred staying in the clouds with the other lost loved ones. 

now, slowly but surely, old habits are changing. he's stopped making meals for the both of us, he's given some items i owned back to my parents and he starts to sleep on my side of the bed once a week. 

i just need him to start a new chapter. the thought of his life stopping because mine did, is a morbid thought and i love him too much for him to throw his life away. he needs to move out, maybe to a new town with zach and jonah, meet a new guy and just live. i know he can do it without me...

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

wc; 827

my biggest fear is losing my parents

- e