Chapter 49 - It doesn't really seem like it

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She loves deep and fast. With all of herself, or not one bit. She'll give people all of her light, in turn struggle to understand when they don't pay that back. She wants you to think she can't be hurt, but truth is, she gets hurt easier than most. She is fierceness and tenderness, within the same breath. This is her beauty. In her total lack of in betweens.

- Caron Patrick Bowie


I checked my watch, but it was already half past ten. Where the hell was he? If he wasn't going to show up in the next minute, I would leave without him and hex his arse the next time we crossed paths.

"Blaise?" I asked as he walked by. "Have you seen Malfoy at all? We're supposed to do patrol tonight."

"No, haven't seen him since supper", he shrugged. I grunted. Where was this boy off to? Was he avoiding me? I swore to myself to not go easy on him next time. He made promises to me over the summer, promises that I wouldn't allow him to break so easily.

I didn't see Draco at all that night. I did patrol, which was uneventful, and went to bed. He wasn't at breakfast either and the next time I'd see him would be in Defense Against the Dark Arts. That class, however, was taught by Snape this year. If there was one person who couldn't find out about our ... some sort of relationship, it was Snape. Since Lucius had fallen out of the Dark Lord's graces since the prophecy debacle, Snape had become Lord Voldemort's closest confidant, alongside Bellatrix. Lord Voldemort could not find out that I had lied to him, so that meant that Snape couldn't find out, ever.

So when I saw Draco for the first time that morning, I had to act like I didn't care, like I didn't wonder where he was constantly, like I wasn't worried about him skipping meals and looking slightly ill. I had to act like he didn't mean anything to me.

I could do so for a moment, as Draco was plainly being an arsehole, no matter his important task. But I needed to talk to him, to know that I wasn't the only one who still cared.

"I'll see you guys at lunch, I have some business to attend to", I said as I kept my eyes trained on the blonde, a couple yards ahead of me. I didn't know where he was headed, but luckily he didn't follow the stream of students on their way to their dorms or the Great Hall. But as soon as we reached a corridor void of other students, he noticed my presence. He glanced backwards and sighed.

"Don't you dare to sigh at me, Draco Malfoy", I gritted. I had quite enough of his lousy behaviour, his broken promises. I grabbed him by his coat and dragged him with me, into an empty storage room. I cast the silencio spell so no one would hear us and then pressed my wand against his Adam's apple.

"Please enlighten me as to why you're avoiding me like the plague", I hissed, narrowing my eyes. Draco coughed and gently pushed my wand away from his throat.

"I'm not", he muttered.

"You're not? Oh, that has to be the best joke of the bloody year. We haven't spoken a word since my birthday! That was almost three weeks ago! And now we've been at Hogwarts for days, away from the Dark Lord and you continue to act like I don't exist! You promised me things would change when we'd go back. I didn't expect it to be so easy for you to just-"

I was cut off by his lips on mine. I gasped slightly at the unexpected action, one that I had to miss for weeks.

"I'm sorry", he whispered as he pulled back. "It's not easy for me, it's really bloody hard to stay away from you, Ellie."

"Then why do you do it? Snape is hardly around!"

"But Pansy is, and so are Crabbe and Goyle. They have been acting differently since the summer. I know they will sell me out if they ever get the chance."

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