You just watched Celeste fucking die. F. Celeste was your closest friend ever since this killing game began. Well- sort of. You were more of her slave rather than her friend. But she was only like that because she cared :)
It was time to leave the trial grounds because it's sleepy time. But before you left, you notice Celestia's ashes unattended. So what do you do? You sneak onto the execution grounds(dunno what to call it lmao) and scoop up as much ashes as you can and put it in a jar that you very conveniently had on you at this very second. And quickly left the scene before Monokuma could notice and catch you. Eh. They probably won't care anyway. Less cleaning for them to do lmaoo.
You take the ashes back to your room. And placed them on a table. You stared at the jar for a minute. Thinking "the fuck am I gonna do with this?" And you realize that this idea was probably a waste of time and really fucking stupid. "Can you talk like Mondo-butter senpai could?" You ask the jar of ashes. But you got no response. Bummer. How do you even know about the mondo butter thing? that was in a whole other oneshot lmao.
Suddenly, you get an idea. Probably a shitty idea. But an idea nonetheless. You open the jar of ashes and sprinkle a small bit of it on the table. But not all of it. You then proceeded to snort up the ashes like as if that shit was cocaine. "MmmmMm das gud" you said with a moan. You then take the jar and smash it onto the ground. The jar was now in pieces and there were ashes everywhere. You quickly swept it all up into a dustpan. You then ponder what to do with the ashes now.
You get another idea. You remember that you had something saved for "special occasions." You opened your drawer and dug through your pile of clothes that you didn't fold because you're lazy. And pull out a bottle of lemon juice mixed with the finest of holy water and bleach. You grab a funnel that you also very conveniently had in the comforts of your room and you open the bottle. The smell of bleach and lemons fill the room. It was glorious. You then grab the dust pan with the ashes and glass and pour it into the bottle using the funnel. You take the funnel out and put the cap back on. You shook the bottle as fast as you could. You could've sworn that you heard the silky liquids saying "harder daddy~" within the bottle.
When you were done, you opened the bottle again and took a wiff of that delicious bleachy citrus scent. You were so excited. You then began to drink the liquid. It was so amazing. You were in bliss. You then began pouring the rest of the liquid all over your body while fully clothed. The feeling of the glass hitting your fagile body was a feeling so poggers you couldn't describe it. The last of the liquid emptied out of the bottle. Your face was burning. Whether it be from blushing so hard or the bleach, You didn't care. You were now even closer to Celestia-Chan than ever before. You then collapsed onto the floor. And died. Because nobody could possibly survive consuming that amount of bleach and glass at the same time. Totally worth it though.
(A/N this was somehow more cursed than the Mondo butter one- probably because it was requested by the same bitch from last time. Shout out to this bitch tho.
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They're pretty poggers.
Please remember that this is all completely satire and shouldn't be taken seriously. If you do take it seriously then I'll be pretty concerned.
Don't do this at home kiddies.
Anyway, that's all I gotta say. Thank you for coming to my ted talk. You may die now <3)
