A Thousand Words | ✓

Chapter Thirty Five: A Thousand Roads to Take

you know, i should really pat myself on the back for these weekly updates haha. dedicated to rebel for the absoultely gorgeous cover on the side! ignore weird mistakes and enjoy the chapter :) xx

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Chapter Thirty Five: A Thousand Roads to Take

 

I didn’t do much after arriving at Jessica’s door in the early hours of Christmas day. Jessica – God, I love her – led me inside and merely crawled into bed with me, asking no questions. I went back to burying my face in her shoulder and refused to talk. She let me.

 

I knew she was worried. It was easy to tell with the way she ran her fingers through my hair lightly and placed the occasional soft kiss wherever she could reach. It would’ve been a good idea to tell her what went down tonight. It was two in the morning and I’m here banging on her back door like I was a drunk man coming for confrontation. But Jessica knew not to push me too much when I was in a mood, and it felt like my hostility was radiating through my very skin.

 

Time was lost on me by the time I calmed down. Even with the lid on my emotions closed tight and bottled up again, my thoughts were far from being tamed.

 

Blackness filled my vision.

 

Not from closed eyelids but from the zero lighting within Jessica’s room. I was wide awake and far from sleeping. There was no way I could keep a quiet mind when it wouldn’t shut the hell up. Too much going on in my head. Too much activity to keep me from drifting off.

 

I was feeling really antsy. Like I needed to pace enough times until I fell through the hole that I wore into the floor.  But my arms stayed latched around Jessica, her steady breathing the only thing slightly peaceful in the midst of my thoughts and the feeling weighing down on the center of my chest.

 

See you soon.

 

God, I knew what it meant. Was the letter I picked up that recent? I didn’t catch sight of the date, as I was determined not to read anything else he had to say.

 

With the most quiet huff I could make, I dug my phone out from under my pillow, careful not to jostle Jessica too much, and nearly groaned at the time. At this point, I’ll be spending most of Christmas day sleeping rather than awake. But what’s the use, right? I doubt there will be a very jolly atmosphere with the big, fat elephant in the room.

 

“Why are you still awake?” asked a quiet voice. Jessica.

 

“Sorry, sunshine,” I whispered, brushing my lips against her shoulder, resting my forehead against it again. “Did I wake you?”

 

“No. Are you okay?”

 

“I can’t sleep.”

 

Her fingers lifted to my hair and stroked. “Do you want to talk about it?”