Influence

Chapter 8

Jasper hadn't been completely wrong. Tam's first impressions of Glamour Days might be compared to an introvert being forced to attend a keg party. She felt expected to like it. Normal people liked glitz. They aspired to glitz, they wanted it. Tam had convinced herself several times throughout her life that she wanted it too.

Thirty minutes at Glamour Days and she dreamed about being alone in her apartment in a pair of sweatpants. This event existed for the Goldies of the world, the people whose job it was to commodify image. People who were so convincingly perfect, they'd cultivated fandoms, vast swaths of fans who either idolized them as superhuman or fantasized that they couldn't possibly be humans at all. So perfect, they were villainous. If anything, subhuman.

The desire to be the biggest name with the biggest following and largest bank account made the air of the convention center heavy with conceit. And who was Tam to stand amongst the perfect people. Goldie was right; she was desperate. She lacked confidence. She couldn't even back away from a person who had orchestrated her public humiliation. She saw it in the glares of the perfect people and their aspiring perfect entourages. She was a known woman now. She had a reputation.

If only they were aware of her older secrets.

She spent a day and a half keeping to the backs of rooms and darkest corners whenever possible. Goldie needed her to keep her schedule but as soon as she deposited her boss to her next destination, she could fade.

Before Goldie's Entertaining Hollywood interview, Tam checked in with their assistant to make sure they knew Goldie would be using her own makeup and wardrobe. While she was there, one of the reporters bounded over to her.

"Evan Michaels." He nodded to her. "You're Tam Martin, aren't you?"

"In the flesh."

"Which we've seen a lot of."

"Excuse me?"

"Would you be willing to be interviewed as well?"

"Me?" She was an imperfect person. A desperate person who pretended to deserve tropical vacations and access to Glamour Days. "Why?"

"Our viewers want to learn more about you and what happened in the Maldives."

Tam flinched. "This is because of the infamous EpiGold, isn't it?"

"Infamous EpiGold... I'm going to use that!"

She'd convinced him that Goldie wouldn't want to share the interview with her. No, she could not be swayed. The idea of being on camera and having to lie about Jasper pushed bile up her throat. She'd puke all over Evan Michael's crisp white suit of this conversation continued.

She ended up walking away while he was in mid-sentence. The day continued its nosedive, but then was saved by the most unlikely player, Goldie herself.

Goldie had promised to smooth things over and she had. Scandal, she'd told Tam, wasn't as bad as it seemed and was often helpful. It advanced the careers of perfect people because as it turned out, perfect people's imperfections made them relatable, the way a beauty mark can enhance rather than mar otherwise flawless skin.

She approached the rest of Glamour Days as she had her departure from the Maldives. Let it happen, stop resisting, blend and accept. On day five, she climbed her way into the Vera Wang gown Goldie has lent to her and borrowed Goldie's beauty team. When people turned to stare at her, she lifted her chin. Fuck them. Fuck them hard.

She sat with Goldie's friends but not with Goldie, who had an honored spot at the head table, like an influencer bride and her wedding party positioned so that the reception guests could gaze in awe at them. She imagined people clanking their forks against glasses so that Goldie could kiss her groom, a giant pile of money.