Strength to Protect (A BBB AU Fanfiction)

Journal Log 2

Journal Log 2, start

My powers are that I could manipulate seven elements. Add the fact that I can split myself into seven sentient elemental forms with different personalities. In a sense, they're like me, but different at the same time. It took a while for them to be completed, but it was worth it. Whenever they would appear, I remember such a look they would give whenever mom would baby them, or if dad would ever spar or train with them too.

They once told me that they were used as tools, both good and bad. Mostly they accepted previous owners that had good intention, but their relationship with them was strictly professional. It was Solar that I couldn't get a hold to his previous owner since he was silent about it.

Back to my log, I just remember how they felt when I called my elementals, a family. As I grew, childish it may be, I would always say that we're not just comrades in battles, but my brothers. Mom and dad would treat them a such. I remember Thunderstorm being so afraid when mom would scold him. I could remember an image of Thundy being like a lost puppy. It was a cute sight indeed, hahaha.

I was just sad that they had to witness the fallout dad and I had before, just when they finally grasp the concept of being family. Even if they're souls of elemental powers, I believe them to be sentient beings, capable of feeling and witnessing such experiences. I don't like them being sad, so I did whatever it takes to feel welcome and safe.

Add that I had to try and hide whenever I feel sad, but I remember that all of you were there to see me at my lowest point. You even tried to tell mom and dad about it, Quake. But I begged not to, because I don't want to add more burdens and stress. Just the seven of you, being there to accompany me, it was enough to at least try and recover some sense of myself.

I guess that was my practice as well when I now had to take care of seven little brothers. They really remind me so much of my previous elementals. I miss them... but I know that they'll be safe with my siblings. It was really selfish of me to ask those things, but... why did you all – nevermind. Asking it would be pointless.

I'm imagining all of you saying that maybe I should tell them, try to ease up some of my bottled-up feelings. Well, congratulations, another one just added to that list. My dark elemental version just said that to me. Whatever I did, he came to be, and I feel sorry that I blamed him for losing control. It was all on me, and I felt guilty. Because whenever I lose control, I would never blame any of you, it was my doing.

I wonder about you, Dark. How did you come to be? How did you become dormant? I could sometimes hear your whispers whenever I'm being this emotional, or when I'm reaching the point of hopelessness and desperation. It's really bad when I'm in denial of myself, it's just that I don't want any more of my personal problems to pile up towards others. Could I just hide them? Not you... but just the thought of my selfish thinking.

I miss mom, I miss dad, I miss being a kid, I miss adventuring... but I can't let that get to me. Not when my siblings need me.

I have to stay strong, and not let Tok Aba and Ochobot feel more burdens from me. It's enough... I can take it...

So, Dark, sorry if I use your powers to have some semblance of personal comfort. I may not be able to see it in that form, but at least the feeling gave me comfort and nostalgia.

You say that it's sad... I know. But it's just making me feel strong and determined to make my brothers feel no more of what I felt...

I'm sorry if you got that form because of me... I wonder if the user you had before is more capable than I am. I now acknowledge that I'm a mess... but it's nice that you talk to me whenever I feel crap.

I better sleep and hopes no nightmares would plague me. Gempa would also be affected by it... I have to figure this out too...

Journal Log 2, ends.