Pierce

Chapter Twenty Two

Natalie~

It was 11:00, five hours since Pierce had walked out the door and the minutes seemed to be passing slower and slower as the night went on.

Lexi had fallen asleep on the couch, but Natalie couldn't relax a single muscle in her body, much less sleep.

Slater and Kincaid were completely relaxed in the living room, laughing at a movie they had turned on and eating a frozen pizza that she had warmed up in the oven for them. Knowing how close the teams were, she knew that if Pierce and his team were in serious danger, there's no way Kincaid and Slater would have been so relaxed. Their lack of concern was slightly comforting, but Slater had easily picked up on her nervous energy and was trying his best to calm her nerves.

"Want to go sit on the deck and get some fresh air, Nat?"

"Fresh air sounds amazing." She answered honestly as she clutched the hot tea she had just made.

Slater unlocked and opened the large glass door and immediately turned on his heel to grab a blanket off the couch for her. The evening air wasn't too cold, but she gladly accepted the blanket and wrapped it around her as she folded herself into a pile on the deck chair.

"You can talk to me, you know. No one expects you to be emotionless and it's pretty obvious that you're nervous as hell."

She clutched the warm mug between her hands secretly grateful that he had given her permission to be vulnerable. Being surrounded by so much strength was intimidating and she felt pressured to emulate that same level of fearlessness even if she didn't necessarily feel that way. Which she didn't.

"This is all new to me... and I'm worried. Not that I doubt Pierce's team. I have complete faith in them, but if there's even a slight chance that something could happen to Pierce then I'm going to feel worried and I don't know how to turn that off."

Slater recoiled his head slightly at her words.

"Turn it off? Is that what you think we do? Is that what you think she does?" Slater motioned his head toward Lexi on the couch.

"There will always be a nagging voice in your heart that says what if, you can't turn that off because it comes from the part of you that cares for Pierce. The trick isn't turning it off, the trick is not letting it consume you. To equip yourself with enough faith that you can reason with that nagging voice and keep yourself calm and confident in Pierce's abilities despite the what-ifs you're feeling."

She internalized his words and cocked her head to the side at the level of sincerity in his voice and wisdom in his advice. In her mind he was the big, burly, tattooed leader of Delta team who told the best dirty jokes, but not necessarily skilled in deep meaningful conversations about feelings - but she had read him all wrong.

"Sometimes I wonder how Lexi does it, how she's so strong and confident with all of this. I just hope that I can have that kind of strength for Pierce." she admitted honestly.

Slater arched an eyebrow at her before he responded.

"You mean the kind of strength it would take to rip your own arm out of the socket to save him from a burning building? That kind of strength?" he chuckled.

"You and Lexi are cut from the same cloth. You're both tough as nails whether either of you are willing to admit it or not. And as much faith as you have in Pierce, you need to have that same amount of faith in yourself, especially if you see a future with Pierce...which I'm assuming that you do since you're still here."

She did, in fact the future she pictured for herself had constantly changed over the past ten years with new alternative endings, and endless possibilities, but now each and every time she pictured her life, it was impossible to envision it without Pierce by her side.