sparky // a padawan story

chapter 45. retraining.

"It feels so good to be out of there."
I breathe in the air of the temple corridors deeply as I walk by Obi-Wan's side. I play with the end of my tunic, not because I'm nervous, but because I simply missed the feeling of it. It's nice to be back in my regular clothes rather than a hospital gown. Kriff, that gown was ugly on me. It might've been worse than the actual scar itself. I feel various eyes on me, some from familiar faces while some I don't know. Their whispers are rather loud.
"Did she really get that from Darth Maul?"
"Wait, I thought it was that Savage Opress guy that cut her up?"
"That looks painful."
"I heard someone say she almost completely bled out, is that true?"
"I do wish people would stop staring at me, though," I tell Obi-Wan. "And how'd the story even get out so quickly? Half of these people I hardly even know but they talk about me like we've been friends our whole lives."
"Just ignore it, little one. They'll forget about it eventually," he replies.
"Was she really out for 4 days?"
"I overheard someone in the mess hall say she could hardly move for, like, a whole week."
"Someone told me that Master Kenobi almost killed Maul again for it, too."
I chuckle and look at Obi-Wan. "Well, did you?"
"I couldn't have even if I wanted too, I'll admit I was by far outmatched," he says.
"Is it true that she almost joined him to try to get him to not hurt her? Because I've heard a lot of people say—"
"No!" I suddenly snap as I stop walking. "Where are you all even getting this stuff from? And do I even know you all?"
"Arlo," Obi-Wan says quietly, grabbing my arm just above my elbow and tugging gently to try and get me to keep walking. "Just let it go." I sigh and comply, continuing to follow him through the halls. "Tune it out for now. Something new and exciting will happen soon, and they'll stop talking about you. I promise. The same thing happened after I first 'killed' him, and Master Qui-Gon died. But the subject changed from me to Anakin once they found out 'the Chosen One' was in our midst. I'll eternally be grateful for that, I can't stand all of that attention."
"So what did you do to 'tune it out', as you say?"
"I, well, hid in my room. I didn't really want to talk to anyone, since... you know."
"Yeah. Well, I think I'll do that, too."
"No, you won't."
"Why not?"
"Because you're not going to let them bother you." We approach the door to his quarters and enter. I plop on his bed while he heads to the kitchenette and begins to make tea. "Don't do that, Arlo, we still don't know if that scar can rip open again or not."
"Guess we'll have to find out then."
"No, I'd rather we not. Tea will be ready in a few minutes." I nod as he sits across from me on his couch.
"So when are you gonna make me go back to class?" I ask.
"You'll be happy to hear that I haven't thought much of that, so you may or may not be off the hook for a while. But we do need to ease back in to training again."
"Finally. I'm sick of just sitting around all day. It's boring. When will we start?"
"Probably tomorrow. But we're taking it easy, got it?"
"Fine."
"Good. But for now, just get used to being mobile again."
"Thank the maker. If I had to spend another day on that bed, I think I would've absolutely lost it."
—
"Now, Arlo, if it starts to hurt, even the tiniest, you absolutely have to say something. Say you understand me," Obi-Wan says as we enter the training room while crossing his arms.
"I understand you."
"Good. I don't need you getting hurt any more than you already are. Today is just going to be simple stuff, and I'm telling you that now because I know you're going to get frustrated with me in a few seconds."
"At least it's better than sitting around and doing nothing," I reply.
"Okay then. Go ahead and sit your lightsaber to the side, we're using training sabers today." He sits his saber down and walks over to the closet to grab two of the wooden rods.
"Okay, Master, I know you said we're taking it easy, but training sabers? Really?" I sit my lightsaber down off to the side by where his was.
"Yes, really," he says as he hands me one of the sticks. "Alright then... start with some basic moves." I spin the wooden saber with ease, taking a few swings at the air. He examines me for any pain. "...Good. Make it more complex, now. Be sure to use your Ataru tactics more this time." I nod and start spinning the saber again. A tingle starts to form across my front, but I push it away. It gets worse as I add in kicks and twirls at an invisible enemy. But when I hold the wooden saber above my head rapidly, I almost drop it out of pain. I cover it up with a spin as I face Obi-Wan again. It takes all my willpower to hide my discomfort. "Very good. And you're sure you're alright?"
"Yes, Master. Fine."
"Okay then." He twirls his training saber forward and holds it back and pointed at me, and does his usual two-finger point. I spin mine around and hold mine up in position. I attack first, as usual, the two wooden sticks clanking together. With every swing and slash of the saber, the sting grows into a hot pain. My offensive tendencies begin to turn to defense. "Are you sure you're alright?" He asks as our wooden sticks interlock.
"Yeah, yeah, just rusty is all. Laying around for so long has taken its toll," I say, out of breath, as I push him away and then attack again. I make sure to continue to stay offensive, even though the pain begins to creep up into my neck, too. The whole scar has a heartbeat. It begins to hurt so bad it starts to grow numb, and I start to get slow and sloppy with my swings at him. But I have to keep going. I can't be weak. I have to show to him, to myself, even, that I'm still as good as I was. He notices my dropping stamina quickly and uses one wrong move by me to disarm me and push me back with the Force. I groan as I land on my back. Tears prick at my eyes as I roll over in pain and clutch around my stomach.
He chuckles. "Very funny, Arlo... oh, blast, you're not kidding!" He drops his training saber and jogs over to me. He kneels down and gently moves me back onto my back. "Where does it hurt?"
"All of it," I say, but it accidentally comes out in a whisper.
"Where does it hurt most?" he then questions. I point to my stomach. "Can I check it? I'll be quick, okay?" I nod. He carefully lifts my tunic and undershirt enough to peek at the scar. He sighs in relief as he puts the shirts back down and helps me sit up. "It's bleeding a little, but it's not torn. Do you want to go to medbay just to be—?"
"No, no, no medbay, just gimme a minute," I manage to choke out.
"Okay," he replies with a sigh. "Were you lying to me the whole time?" I shake my head no. "Arlo. I'm serious."
"...Only, like, three-fourths of the time."
He pinches the bridge of his nose. "You said you would tell me."
"Pain is temporary, Master."
"But that scar is not, my Padawan. So if you make it worse, it's stuck like that. When are you going to learn to start taking more care of yourself?"
"I don't know, when I find a good reason to? What kind of answer do you even want?"
"Is your master asking you nicely not a reason enough?" I roll my eyes at him. "Well, let me clean up in here, then I have some of your pain medicine still in my quarters. The med droid said take as needed. Sound okay?" I nod as I try to sit up, but I let out a small shout as I'm met with another searing pain. I plop back down onto the floor and groan. "Patience, Arlo, I've got you." He gets up and puts the training sabers away, then walks back over and easily scoops me up and carries me out of the room.
"Put me down! I'm fine!"
"You were just curled up on the ground in pain and you couldn't sit up, you're not fine."
"Well I said to gimme a minute, but you didn't, so maybe if you did, I would be!"
"I'll listen to you once you listen to me." I try to squirm out of his arms, but it hurts too bad, so I stop. "Just relax, we're almost there." The blast door opens and he carries me into the kitchenette, then sits me on the island across from the sink. He begins running the water to get me a glass, then begins to warm it slightly before he goes to get the medicine. "Do you need one or two?" I shrug. "I'll take that as a two." He hands me the medicine and water, and I take it quickly. Meanwhile, he grabs a rag and wets it slightly with the running water. Then he lifts my shirts just enough so he can wipe off the blood with the rag. It stings, and I let out a small noise, almost a whimper. "I'm sorry, you're doing good, you're almost done, just a few more seconds... there. All done." He removes the rag, now dotted with tiny splotches of blood, and puts my shirt down. He puts my glass from the water and the rag in the sink, then stands in front of me, arms crossed. "I believe you have some explaining to do."
"Well, it started hurting, and I didn't say anything."
"Really? I hadn't noticed," he says sarcastically with an unamused look. "I'm being serious, Arlo. Why wouldn't you say something? You trust me, right?"
"Of course I do, it's just... I don't know. A lot of things."
Obi-Wan examines me for a moment. "You don't have to prove anything to me, Arlo." I sigh. Sometimes I wish he couldn't read me so well. "It's going to take time, you have to be patient."
"It wasn't just that, though. I felt like I had to prove it to myself, too."
"How so?"
"I guess I just, you know, didn't want to feel..."
"Oh, I know what you're about to say. Don't finish that sentence with weak. Most people would be dead right now if they were put in your situation. You're one of the most resilient people I know. So listen to me when I say there's nothing for you to prove to anyone. Just have patience."
"That's not really my strong suit."
"Then we'll work on it. Because we're not going to be saber training for a few more days."
"But Master—"
"No buts, not until I'm sure you're well enough. So for now, we'll focus on the more mental side of things. Like meditation, patience, and learning to move on, to let go. Sometimes, I think, the mental stuff is harder than the physical."
"...Okay then."
"Okay then," he repeats. "We'll start tomorrow."
—
"You need to try to get rid of your anger, my Padawan. It's concerning."
My eyes open and I groan. I watch as he paces in front of the circular ottoman I sit crisscross on top of. "I can't help it. Every time I think about it, it makes me mad."
"What about it makes you so angry?"
"I don't know how to explain it. Like... he's just using me as a pawn in his game to make you angry. And on top of that, he almost got away with it, too. If that makes sense."
"So you're angry because of what he did to me, and not you?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
He sighs as he stops pacing and kneels in front of me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "You don't need to worry about me, little one. I'm okay. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Good. It's okay to feel angry, but you can't let it drive you mad. Learn to control your emotions. Seek no vengeance. That would be risking letting this anger consume you, which leads to acting on your feelings instead of acting with the Force. Eventually you will come to let it go. Just keep meditating on it, talk to me if you need to, and you'll be just fine."
—
"Are you sure you're up for trying this again already?" Obi-Wan asks me a few days later.
"Yes, I am, we've been over this," I say as a jog up to the training room. He follows close behind. As we enter, he takes my saber from me and puts mine and his own to the side, then once again grabs training sabers from the closet. He tosses one over to me.
"You know the drill, then." I twirl my saber as we begin to duel. I stick to my typical offense, skillfully parrying with my master with no pain. I block a swing to the left, the right, then a low swing, and the sticks interlock. "You look much better than earlier already. Do you feel okay?"
"I'm fine, but I do find it rather odd having a friendly conversation in a position where someone is usually trying to kill me," I joke as I push him away.
He chuckles. "Well then, would you say you're ready for actual lightsabers!"
"Of course I am." I pull the saber over to me with the Force and ignite the familiar golden blade. Obi-Wan ignites his own blue one.
"Ready?"
"Of course I am," I say as I twirl the blade. I smile at the familiar whoosh it makes as we begin to parry once again. It's like I've been practicing these past two days instead of sitting around, like I never put it down in the first place. Our blades lock, and for some reason, everything feels off again. I shake off the feeling and focus on our blades. Mine is horizontal at neck level. I push his away to my left side, just like when...
Maul.
I'm back at that moment.
Instead of Obi-Wan's blue blade, I see Maul's red.
Instead of the training room, I'm in the old pirate's den hallway.
He begins to slice up at me.
It's all in slow motion.
"No!"
Back in the present, I feel myself drop my saber and stumble backwards, falling flat on my back, breathing heavily, eyes frantic. I sit up and try to recollect myself. Obi-Wan turns off his saber and kneels down to me in a calm manner, as if to try to put me at ease, too.
His hand moves a stray hair from in front of my face and rests on my shoulder. "Hey. You're okay. Just breathe," he speaks softly. I take deep breaths and get control over myself, then sigh. "Will you tell me what happened?"
"It... it was like... like I was there again. And..."
"Ah. I understand. Well, you're okay now. We can stop—"
"No. No, we're not stopping. I'm never gonna move on from it if I just stop."
"Perseverant as ever. But I agree." He stands up and offers me his hand. I take it and he pulls me up. I grab my saber with the Force once again. "Let's do it again, then. Exact same way. But instead of moving your saber back up, block it down. Like this." He steps back and ignites his saber to demonstrate, pushing away an imaginary blade and immediately turning his saber downwards to block where the blade would swing up. "Because when you push the saber down like that, the next swing is almost always up. Right?"
"Right."
"Let's try it, then. Would you rather use the training sabers?"
"No, it's okay. I know you won't actually hurt me."
"Good." I ignite my saber and put it back in its horizontal position near my neck. He locks his against mine. "Ready?" I nod. "You got this." I take a deep breath and push his blade away to the side, then immediately block Obi-Wan's saber moving up, just in the way he'd shown me. I smile excitedly as I turn off my lightsaber. Obi-Wan does the same. "That was perfect, Arlo!" Instead of responding, I just hug him. It startles him at first, but he reciprocates it with a soft chuckle. "I'm very proud of you, my Padawan."
—
"Hurry up, Obi-Wan!" I exclaim as I drag him along the temple halls towards the training room the next day. "Ugh, you're so old, put some pep in your step! Do you need a walker to keep up?"
"You're too nice to me, Arlo," he replies sarcastically as he practically jogs to keep up with me. I open the door and find Anakin and Ahsoka sparring together. They stop when they notice Obi-Wan and I.
"Oh! Hey, Obi-Wan, Arlo," Anakin says.
"How do you feel, Lo?" Ahsoka asks.
"I'm great. Thanks," I reply.
"You all can go. Ahsoka and I need a break anyway," Anakin says. Ahsoka nods in agreement.
"Thank you, Anakin," Obi-Wan says. "Ready, Arlo?"
"Always," I say. We ignite our sabers and to begin to practice as Ahsoka and Anakin chat to the side, sitting on the floor next to each other.
"I want Arlo to win," Anakin says to Ahsoka.
"Me too," she agrees. "She's definitely due for a win."
"I can hear you two, you know," Obi-Wan says over to him as we parry.
"They're not wrong, I'm definitely due for one," I say as our blades lock. I twist the sabers down, which causes Obi-Wan to lose his grip on his lightsaber and he drops it. I pull the hilt to me with the Force with a smirk. "Ha."
He shakes his head with a smile as Anakin and Ahsoka cheer and I turn off my saber. "Good move." He then examines me for a moment, as if he was contemplating an idea.
"Uh... Master?"
"Anakin, can I borrow your lightsaber?" he suddenly asks. We all look at him in confusion.
"Um, sure, I guess," Anakin says as he tosses it to him. Obi-Wan catches it, then looks back to me.
"Well, turn the sabers on, Arlo."
"...Both of them?"
"Yeah. I've decided I'm teaching you to double wield today," he tells me. Ahsoka claps excitedly to the side. "I don't think double wielding permanently like Ahsoka really suits your fighting style, but it's a useful skill to have. My master taught me, I taught Anakin, and Anakin taught Ahsoka."
"So then does that mean Ahsoka's teaching me?" I question jokingly.
"Yeah!" she exclaims.
"No,"Anakin says.
"Absolutely not," Obi-Wan agrees.
"That would end horribly, Snips," Anakin tells her.
"Whatever, Master," she replies with an eye roll.
"Go ahead, then, Arlo," Obi-Wan says. I ignite my own saber in my right hand and Obi-Wan's in my left. "Oftentimes when someone like you or I who don't dual wield on a regular basic choose to dual with two blades during battle, it's an improvised decision. However, there is a specific fighting style that can be used for dual wielding, called Jar'Kai. For most, it is a difficult skill to learn, but you've always seemed to be a quick learner, so I'm not worried. The key is to use the saber in your non-dominant hand for parrying and defense while using the other one to attack, or to set up an attack for both sabers. Got that?" I nod. "Okay. We'll practice slow at first." He ignites Anakin's lightsaber and swings, stopping it in midair. "If I attacked first here, what do you think you'd do?"
"I'd block it with this one, right?" I say as I hold up his saber and clash it against the borrowed one he uses.
"Precisely. Then what?"
"I'd... I'd try to attack with my dominant side?"
"Have confidence in your answers, Arlo. You're right," he says. I swing at the blade with my gold one as I bring the blue back down. Obi-Wan blocks it. "And now?"
"Parry while trying to attack?"
"It's not a question, Arlo."
"Right. Uh, parry while trying to attack."
"Perfect. Let's try it." He swings at me and I block it with the blue saber in my left hand. We parry, and every once in a while I try to sneak an attack with my dominant hand. I eventually stop his blade by forming an X with my two and catching his in between, then push up and spin the blades behind my back while he stumbles backwards. I mindlessly do some sort of wheel-twirl with the blades before blocking Obi-Wan's next attack with the both of them. He steps back and turns off Anakin's lightsaber. "How in the galaxy does it look like you've done that your whole life?"
"I don't know. I guess because I see Ahsoka doing it so much, I've picked up a few things." I turn off the sabers and hand Obi-Wan his, while he hands his back to Anakin.
"Oh, no, you're not done yet." He pushes the lightsaber back towards me. "Ahsoka, mind sparring with her for a few minutes?"
"Sure!" she exclaims. She gets up and ignites her two blades while I ignite mine. We begin to parry. She's obviously more skilled than me at this, so I'm definitely overpowered, but I still manage to hold my own just fine. After a few minutes of going back and forth, no one really getting the upper hand, all four of our blades clash together. We push each other away, and then go to Force push each other at the same time, sending us both flying back. I turn off my sabers as I sit up and look over at Ahsoka, who does that same. We then fall into a fit of giggles, which turns to practically rolling on the floor with laughter.
"Those two are something else," I hear Anakin mutter.
"They most certainly are," Obi-Wan agrees. "Crazy young padawans."
—
arlo's a little stupid sometimes but yay she's finally okay again :) very much looking forward to writing this next chapter but also highkey dreading it because we all know how s5 ep16 goes... :(
thanks for reading! -a 🪐