Yes, Sirs (Book 1 of Desire's Den)

Chapter 89 - Emma

My heart ached as I felt Gideon get out of the bed. The warmth he'd provided vanished with him, leaving me alone in the cold.

My body had been too attuned to him—too desperate for him—to not notice when he went away. I'd hoped he would come back; I was waiting for him to, but he didn't. Instead, I was left with a feeling of emptiness and a heart that hurt.

What we'd just shared, the moment between us filled with pleasure and pain, had been special. I knew it had been. I'd loved the way he'd manhandled me, but also the way he had withheld my orgasm. My clit still ached from the withheld orgasm, and my pussy hurt from the serious stretch and forceful thrusts.

Gideon had really gone on and done it—he had ruined me. And now he was gone as well, making me feel like little more than a fuck toy for him to use.

What had I done wrong?

It had taken time before the exhaustion finally took me under again, and I fell into a dreamless sleep. I was grateful to escape my thoughts that tormented me after he left.

The sun shining through the window stirred me awake, but not one single cell in my body wanted to get up. The second I woke up, I remembered every part of yesterday—most notably, what happened after my session with Gideon. The hurt I'd felt tonight came rushing back, and I threw the blankets over my head as if I was hiding from my own torment.

I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to know why I wasn't enough for him to want to stay. Was that too much to ask for? For him to hold me through the night after he'd punished me?

Insecurities I'd been struggling with all my life was now back in full force. The improvements I'd experienced with the guys took a significant step back. My overactive brain was hard at work trying to pin this all on me like I was the one at fault.

Furious for even thinking it, I finally got out of bed. He was the one at fault, not me. If he was going to sneak out in the middle of the night, leaving me hurt and confused, he could very well explain to me why.

My clothes were nowhere to be seen, which wasn't surprising since I'd undressed in the other room. I looked around the room and saw a third door I hadn't opened before. Walking to it, I looked inside, and sure enough, it was a walk-in closet.

The whole space was filled with women's clothing and shoes. I had major Déjà Vu from when I slept over at Callan, and he'd bought me at least triple the clothes I currently had in my apartment. Right now, though, I didn't give it a second thought; I needed to talk to Gideon about last night.

Opening a drawer, I found a pair of panties, and in the second drawer underneath, I found bras as well. I didn't even try to guess how they all knew my sizes.

Not bothering with figuring out to wear, I threw on the first thing I saw. It was a simple all-white sundress. It looked cute, not going to lie, but I didn't care about that now. I didn't want to look good for Gideon; I wanted to look as hurt as I felt.

Ignoring the ache between my legs, I followed the scent of coffee all the way to the kitchen. I was so ready to start questioning him, but one look at him, and I stopped short.

He hadn't noticed me yet, and I took advantage of that as I took in his dark, disheveled hair, like he'd run his hands through it one too many times. He had dark circles under his eyes, making it evident that he hadn't slept—or if he did, it couldn't have been for long.

I stood there watching him when he thought no one was looking. There was something about his stony expression that seemed a little troubled, and that look of pain in his eyes made the hurt I'd felt vanish in the blink of an eye.