Save Me

Chapter 49

My body aches, my muscles, my bones, my heart. I'm nothing but a mess of pain. I feel it grow in me by second, by the hour, by day. Every day I feel the pain eating me up, ripping me to threads, cutting me to the core. It magnifies by a thousand whenever I see the demon that caused it. It doesn't happen often though when it does, the pain becomes palpable and unbearable.

The days seem to be in repeat. Nothing happens, nobody comes to save me, nobody to hurt me more. Everything is the same. Nothing different occurs out of the blue to catch me off guard and distract my heart and mind from the pain I'm experiencing. I guess if I ever had an angel, he disappeared too. Like everybody does eventually. They always leave me alone.

Noah has been lost in his grief. He hates himself that I learned that way. He despises himself that he didn't know the truth to be able to protect me. He has apologized countless times but the guilty hasn't left his system. Every time we talk, I see that glimpse of sadness in his warm brown eyes. He feels responsible even though he isn't. Jacob, on the other hand, avoids me more than he did when I first came here. He avoids talking or even meeting my eyes. I don't know if he feels sorry or he's indifferent about what happened. It doesn't matter though because I don't blame any of them for it. It wasn't their fault. It was his.

The first days, I was angry. Furious that he put me through all of this. He ruined us.

The following days, I was devastated. The pain was killing me ruining my skin but I wouldn't care as long as I had something to hold on to. Every day I was thinking about his words and realizing the depth of his lie. And that broke me.

Every single of our memories turned into nightmares. He never wanted me. He would never propose a relationship with rules, he would never kiss me, save me from my nightmare in the nights, confess his love for me, chase me when I thought he cheated on me. Never.

All those memories, all those moments were now haunted by the cruel truth that my demon had hidden.

Tapping against the closed door, I hear her familiar voice before I walk inside.

"Hello, Amelia" My psychologist from the Social Service greets me with a grin. I smile briefly sitting down. She asks me her usual questions but this time the answers are different. Much different.

"Did you had any nightmares this week?" I bite my bottom lip as images of all the nights flood my vision. Blood, lifeless bodies, cries, screams. My mum was begging me to make the pain stop, make it go away and I couldn't. I was useless to help my own mother. "Amelia," she says bringing me back to reality.

"yes," I mutter with a weak voice. Tears gather in my eyes making my throat close.

"Oh...okay," Surprise flashes across her facial features and I know exactly what she's thinking. I had gone over them. I wasn't experiencing any yet now I do. They stopped because my angel was fighting my demons for me. And now that he's one of them, I'm haunted by more demons.

"When did they start? You didn't have them the last time we spoke,"

Since the night we fought. The night he left and I cried out buried in my pillow paying for sleep and when it finally came, it was full of nightmares. Like every night since then.

"Last week,"

"How often do you see them?" I close my eyes shuddering.

"Every night," I whisper and her eyes widen.

"Every night?" she questions in shock. "Amelia, we were going so good. I dare say your progress was remarkable. What happened?" I just shrug not opening my lips afraid of what might escape.