Chapter 99

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The raw, burning ground of Mustafar and the suffocating abyss of smoke is now a mere memory.

It has been a week since I tore apart my soul. The half of me that I loved the most, the part that made me feel complete, was left on Mustafar to burn.

Fives brought the escape pod to Polis Massa; an obscure planetoid nestled within the Outer Rim. This is now one of the only places in the galaxy where the remaining Jedi can lay low. Unfortunately, there's only three of us here. 

Master Yoda has journeyed to the planet during our time here. He was one of the few Jedi that survived Order 66; most weren't that lucky. I haven't seen him at all during that time. Then again, I haven't really seen anyone. 

For me, the past week has been dismal. I have wallowed alone in the same quarters, seeking comfort in the dancing shadows. The darkness of the silhouettes is comforting in the sense that it brings feeling back into my heart; even if it's just a reminder of what I've lost.

No one knows where Cal and Ahsoka are; or even if they're still alive. If I'm being honest, I am not yet ready to face that pain. 

There's an emptiness in the galaxy, and it's not just because I lost Anakin. The very presence of the light side of the Force is incredibly weak. There were once tens of thousands of Jedi with only a handful of Sith. Now, those numbers are pretty much aligned in perfect balance.

One thing has certainly changed since we left Mustafar; the progress of my pregnancy. I only found out about it no more than three weeks ago, and at that stage, I was ten weeks along. Given the timing of this, I should be just over three months through my term.

Obi-Wan came to a logical conclusion regarding the reasoning for the unnatural growth rate of my kids. They're the product of the two sides of the Force and they're growing in the womb of the physical embodiment of the light. That means the Force coursing through their bodies is unstable and unpredictable.

If Obi-Wan is right, my kids grow each time I draw on the Force. The insurmountable pressure I put on myself a week ago on Mustafar is certainly proving that to be true. My stomach grew significantly the day after the confrontation. It was excruciating; the type of pain that drowns out everything else.

As I sit alone in my temporary quarters, I am again reminded of just how lonely my life has become. It's only been a week, and the void in my heart where Anakin Skywalker used to be is growing to a dramatic proportion.

The door of the dismal space opens, bringing the comforting presence of my brother to my attention. Having him here is not enough to make me feel whole again, but it does provide the peace of mind that I crave.

"Hey, (Y/N)," Fives says, his voice attempting to seem as peaceful as possible.

"Hey," I croak.

I haven't spoken to anyone all week. I've wanted to, I just haven't been able to. The void in my heart is making it impossible for me to act as I normally would.

He sits down beside me, bringing back some warmth in my broken heart. I know I must seem distant and out of place, but it isn't intentional. My mind is just struggling to adapt to my new life.

"You haven't said a word since we got here," He points out. "It's nice to hear your voice."

If I'm being honest, it's nice to finally speak to someone. It takes my mind off the deafening silence I have been experiencing.

"Have you heard anything from him?" I ask.

I can't bring myself to utter the name of the man I loved. Even thinking it tears open the healing wounds in my heart.

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