Chapter 19 - Confession

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Lando untangled himself from Arthur and sat up on the bed. "Speaking of kissing boys. I think I have to tell you something."
Arthur sat up too now. "Okay, what is it?"

The Brit looked down at his hands, fumbling with the duvet in his lap. "I promised to never talk about this again, but it feels wrong not to tell you. I want to be completely honest with you and should have probably told you sooner, but it was just never the right time. I'm sorry."

"You're scaring me a little now.", Arthur admitted, trying to make eye contact with his boyfriend, but Lando kept staring down.

"The only boy I ever kissed before you was Max." Lando took a deep breath. "That's why I didn't want to tell you about my first kiss with a boy, back then. Because it was horrible. Not because it was a boy, but because it was Max. It felt like kissing my brother. But Max had asked me to do it because he was so confused with his sexuality and wanted to find out if he's really gay, with that kiss. Obviously, that didn't quite work because he found it awful too, so his conclusion was, that he wasn't gay. Well, we know how that turned out." Lando now dared to peak up at Arthur, a shy smile on his face.

"Wait, Max? As in Max Verstappen? As in my brother's boyfriend?" Arthur furrowed his brows in confusion. Lando only nodded slightly.

"I'm so sorry to throw this onto you like this now, but it felt wrong not to tell you. Please don't feel weird about it now. That was ages ago. And there was never anything romantic or sexual between us, we both didn't feel anything at all. So technically, my real first kiss with a boy that I actually liked was with you."

"Wow okay, I don't know what to say now, to be honest.", Arthur mumbled after a few seconds of silence.
"That's completely fine! Please don't feel like you have to say anything now. I just wanted you to know the whole story. No more secrets. You don't have to react to it in any way or something like that. Take your time. I know this is probably a weird situation for you as well now. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Arthur nodded. "I think I need a little time to think about this."
"Of course, yeah. No problem, I'll just-" Lando wanted to jump up and leave, but Arthur caught him by his wrist. "Don't go. Can we please just lie here for a bit?"

"Umm okay. Yeah, sure." Lando crawled back onto the bed, his heart beating like crazy. Arthur didn't want him to leave. That was a good sign, right?

They both lay there next to each other, hands slightly touching, but not really. Both simply listening to the other's breathing, both completely lost in their own thoughts.

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