Eternal Love (MewGulf AU)

🌞Chapter 20🌻

🌞🌻

"There's no need to worry," Mew seemed to read Gulf's reactions without even looking at him. He was still looking straight ahead, smirking. "You've always been a worrier. As soon as you set one foot outside your room, you think of nothing but how other people are going to react."

Gulf gulped at the way Mew was smiling and at his tender expression. He didn't want to talk about the past. It was over. He wanted to just shut it away, but he couldn't.

Mew's eyes narrowed indulgently, and Gulf wondered what he was thinking about. After daring to abduct him to Saria, the man had been trying to break him with his arrogance. But the Mew that Gulf saw now was just like the one from six years ago.

"Do you remember that fight we had?" Mew asked suddenly.

Of course Gulf remembered it. It was when one of the other students had invited him in a speed-dating night he couldn't refuse. It would have been strange if he had. Mew had laughed and told him he was thinking about it too much and that he didn't need to pretend that he was straight. But Gulf recognized that a homosexual relationship was unnatural. To him, no amount of caution was too much.

He didn't want his relationship with Mew to even end. He was willing to pretend that they were just close friends in order to protect it. But Gulf had never imagined that some day he would have to go on a date with a girl from school. But if it had to be done, he would do it.

'I can't figure out what it is you want.'

And when Mew got angry at him, he had said that that too, was unavoidable.

Mew had called it a fight, but it wasn't Gulf had just been shocked at how coldly Mew treated him.

In the end, he'd canceled the date. He'd told the girl that there was someone elae he liked, and she told him that she'd thought he had a one-sided crush on her. They were both relieved.

"I don't really remember that time," Gulf said, contradicting the wave of memories that had risen up in his mind.

The smile disappeared from Mew's face. "You're upset that I brought you here so suddenly, aren't you?" he said.

The shadows cast by the moonlight made something in Mew's face falter. Gulf thought he saw regret in Mew's expression and, confused, he looked away. He mastered his feeble feelings and responded with thick sarcasm. "You mean dressed like this? Or do you mean to Madina?"

Mew quietly answered that he meant both.

"If you know I'm angry, then why are you doing this?" Gulf said. "That's not exactly rational."

He had thought he would never see Mew again after six years of no word from him. Feeling abandobed, he had told himself that it had just been a lie when Mew told him he would be back for him, part of the cliche of parting lovers

This man was the heir to Madina's throne, and he was betrothed to someone. Gulf was sure that he had purposely withheld details about himself when he was an exchange student so that he could enjoy himself during that brief time of freedom.

But what could Gulf do? If the man he loved was bad for him, all he could do was give him up. He had scorned the part of himself that wanted to believe that Mew would come back, and he had to argue again and again with the naive belief that he shouldn't give up.

But despite all of his efforts, the moment Gulf saw Mew again it had all been for naught. His heart ached so much, even when he had locked Mew away in the past. His old scars had festered and opened again, his wounds weeping.

"If I'd asked you outright to come to Madina with me, would you have?" Mew asked softly.

"How can I answer that?" Gulf asked back.

He tried to imagine what he would have done. He probably wouldn't have been conquered by a simple smile from Mew, whom he hadn't seen in so long. And all these nostalgic feelings wouldn't have overwhelmed him, so he knew he would have rejected the idea.

Apparently, he still hadn't fully dealt with the last.

"You wouldn't have come, would you?" Mew insisted. "I knew you were holding yourself together. I knew you would be fine without me."

Gulf swallowed his response, marveling at how selfishly Mew had acted. He hadn't been fine at all. He had just been forced to become fine. But there was no point in saying that.

His emotions faltered, but Gulf pushed them back as he lashed out, "If you knew all that, why did you do this? What do you want from me? You forced me to stay here, and now you're forcing me to dress like a woman. To fulfill some promise you made? Don't be ridiculous. You of all people must realize this is pointless. You must" He hesitated to give voice to the most crucial of his arguments and cut himself off. But he shook his head at that part of himself and, instead, pushed his point. "You're getting married, aren't you?"

He was relieved his voice hadn't shaken when he'd said that.

TBC