thirty-one

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Naomi Black

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Naomi Black

Matti had lost his game against Ohio State.

Penn State had actually lost.

I didn't go to the game, I watched wrapped up in my favorite blanket from my couch with Sloane. We drank pumpkin spice lattes and watched with wide eyes. Ohio State hated Penn State and the feeling was mutual.

In the fourth quarter, the game was tied up by one touchdown from Ohio State. The worst part is that they were going for the field goal. If they actually made it, they would beat us by one point.

One fucking point.

And of course they made the field goal.

So Penn State had lost their first game of the season, and Matti Williams had lost his first game with Penn State.

The Ohio State crowd cheered with joy as Matti hung his head low, while he jogged off the field with his helmet in hand.

ESPN cut to the next news clip to bars in the city of Columbus, Ohio where college students were stomping on Matti's jersey and even burning it.

"Okay, we're turning this off." Sloane said as she reached for the remote— my eyes were frozen to the screen.

"Is—is it my fault?" I aske. Sloane hums in response, "is it my fault that Matti didn't play like he usually does?" I reiterated my question.

She laughed, "Girl, are you dumb? He did fine. Ohio's line was just too good. We couldn't get carry's through." I cracked a smile at her.

I had been doing fine without Matti, even though I couldn't help but try not to think about that man every single hour of the day. After my whole shower episode, the girls brought me coffee from Starbucks and said Matti had texted Nat that I was back at home.

It had only been 24 hours since the last time I saw him but I swear I still smelled his scent every time I closed my eyes. It was like I was back wrapped in his arms again.

I wasn't regretting my decision.

"So what are you going to do about him drugging you?" Sloane asks as I shrug. "Unfortunately, I feel like there is nothing I can do. First of all, it's his word against mine. I threw up all of the evidence. I'm 19 and I was underage drinking, I feel like everything would just go against me." I sigh.

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