Alice Avery
You'd think that I'd react dramatically, I'd cry, sob, scream, fight. Thought I stood there quietly, I tried to let his devastating words sink into me, I didn't believe them.
"You're bluffing," I stated.
"You're scared of me Alice, what the hell makes you think you and I can go on like this." Ricky spoke sincerely and I just shook my head.
"We can work through it, an-and together that's what we do and that's what we've always done so let's just stay together so-"
"Breathe." He cut me off and stepped away from me.
"No!" I protested. "No you can't just leave me after everything you said last night."
We talked about how much we needed each other and now in just a few hours, he's gone against everything.
"I'm not leaving you."
"Bullshit," I interrupted boldly. "I'm not just gonna stand here and let some stupid nightmare ruin us."
"That stupid nightmare made you scared of me, and I'm not just gonna stand here and let you be around someone you're scared of." He explained and I cupped my hands over my ears. I didn't want to hear it, he was putting me before himself. I don't want to be the reason he has to live in a world without me. He's not doing this for him, he's doing it for me and I could slap him for it.
"I'm not letting you do this," my voice was low.
"You aren't ready for this, neither am I. We need time apart." He spoke his last sentence slowly, ensuring I took in every last word.
I had to realize that there was no way of escaping this, he was leaving and was forcing me further and further away from him.
"What am I gonna do without you?"
"You focus on yourself and I'll focus on myself." He took a hesitant step forward, "I need this too Ali."
That changed everything. If he needed this then I wouldn't hesitate to walk out.
"Okay." I agreed in a whisper, "I'll go."
I felt hallow but maybe this was for the best, at least for right now. I slowly gathered my things from the floor.
"Don't go missing me too much," Ricky tried to make light of the situation but I didn't laugh. I didn't want a break or whatever we were calling this. I couldn't get enough of him, I had just gotten him and now he's gone.
"I'll see you soon?" I asked, I needed something to look forward to.
"We've got forever to be together baby, don't you worry."
I looked down to Ricky's ring on my finger. Everything felt so distant, last night we were closer than ever before and now it feels like we're life times apart, like we're taking a step backwards.
"You promised." Ricky intruded my thoughts in an demanding tone.
"I know I did," I spoke quietly.
"That's a promise to you," he said while pointing to the ring. "I'm not gonna leave, ever."
"What are you my husband now?"
He shrugged, "you want me to be?"
"That's not funny," I muttered.
Staring at him now, he looked a hell of a lot better than I did. He was ready for this, I wasn't but I had to stop believing that this was a bad decision. We did need this, I just wasn't prepared and I didn't want to admit it.
