A Pinch of Cinnamon

Don't leave me; us. Part 2

Nick's POV

"I... love...you." My heart is shattering as those faint words are whispered from her lips. How did it come to this?

"Spencer!"

"We need a transfusion, or we will lose her!" The doctor yells at the staff who were all aiding in keeping my heart and soul alive.

I can't lose her.

She can't leave us.

I can't live without her.

"We need you to leave." A nurse was frantically ushering me out of the room.

"No, I need to be with her! I can't leave her alone!" I desperately try and keep myself by her side. I clutch her hand as if my presence alone would bring her back to me.

"Sir, the doctor and staff need to focus. We can't have you in here. They are doing what they can to ensure her safety so please don't make it harder." The nurse pulls me out of the room. My hand slips from Spencer's.

I glance back to see Spencer's white face. She was lying on that cold table; alone. People were frantically attaching more things to her. I see blood dripping from a blue drape on her abdomen. Dripping onto the white floor.

I can't take my eyes off it. It's so red against the white background. That's her life. It's what is keeping her living with me, with our family. And now...it's just running out of her. Killing her.

The nurse continues pulling me out just as I hear the staff shout.

"She's flatlining!"

I crumple. Sliding down the wall just outside her room. The nurse, not able to hold me up, watches me awkwardly.

I put my face in my hands and just sob. Uncontrollable, gut wrenching sobs. My heart is in that room.

Don't take her. Not her, please. I'm not normally a spiritual, religious person but right now, I pray.

I pray, and beg, and plead with whatever higher form there may be. Don't take her from me. Don't take her from us.

Please.

This can't be happening. She was fine just minutes ago. Tearing up over the faces of our new babies. She brought them into this world. What if the world decides to take her from me in exchange?

I can't live without her. What will Jayden and Octavia say? How would I console them?

How can I be strong enough to be there for them when all I want to do is cry?

"Is there someone I can call?" The nurse softly whispers.

I nod shakily. I give her the number for my mom. She needs to know.

"How about we go see your new babies? We still need their names for their birth certificates." The nurse tries to take my mind off the fact that my wife is currently dying.... or dead.

No.

I shake my head free of those horrid thoughts. I can't think like that. She will be fine. I need her to be fine.

I tremble as I get to my feet. The nurse is right. I can't see clearly in my grief, but I'm not helping Spencer's case by possibly distracting the staff.

Just before the nurse leads me away, I thought I heard a constant, steady beeping coming from her operating room.

The nurse keeps pulling me forward before I can be sure.

She leads me to the NICU where our babies are. She updates me as we walk.

They are fine. They need a little supplemental oxygen but are remarkably healthy for how early they were born. Usually, babies born at 30 weeks need to be on a ventilator to aid them in breathing. But our miraculous twins didn't need this. They have feeding tubes in to help make sure they get the right amount of food. But otherwise, don't have many complications. They will need to stay in hospital for a few weeks to a month depending on how well they continue to grow. We need to ensure they won't have complications.