MAKE ME GO(Completed)

Make Me Go: Pain

Chaeyoung

*Trigger warning: may include self harm*
(✌️)

I immediately went to my car and drive away.My eyes were bloodshot because of crying too much.I can't help it.The pain was too painful.The betrayal really did surprised me and hurt me

I still can't believe that Mina cheated on me.The person who I thought was so pure and innocent did actually betrayed me.She made me like a fool

I parked my car in a nearby park and cried my whole heart out inside my car.I punched the steering wheel numerous times to release my anger but it wasn't helping.It does not subside,even a bit

"Fuck! Damn you,Myoui Mina,Damn you!"

I weep inside my car in the middle of the dawn. I've been crying as hard as I can but the pain was still there.Whenever I close my eyes,the scene of Mina kissing that Eunha plays in my mind

It keeps on playing no matter how I wanted it to stop

"Why do you have to do this to me,Mina"

It fucking hurts

"H-How could you do this to me,baby.I did l-loved you so damn much. H-How could you.."

I kept on crying when I heard my phone ringing. I fished my phone from my pocket and saw Mina calling me

I wiped my tears away.I wanna hear her voice.I wanna hear her explanations but as soon as I remember what she did,my blood boiled in anger

"Fuck you!"

I threw my phone against the windshield of my car that created a crack but I don't mind at all.Right now, all I want is this pain to stop.I badly want this pain to vanish

"Why baby..why Mina..I loved you so much..So much that it hurts me so bad.."

I started the engine of my car and drive again.I decided to go to my studio and maybe clear my mind but as soon as I inside my studio I breakdown once again

How can I clear my mind when my own studio was literally full of Mina's portraits and pictures of me and her together.I immediately removed our pictures together that hanged on the wall and started throwing them away,destroying them

I did the same to the portraits of Mina that I personally made.I smashed everything,wrecking every piece that reminds me of Mina.Soon,the whole place was a total messed and broken just like what I am right now

"I fucking love you so much Mina..I fucking really do but why..why did you have to do this to me.."

I'm crying while slowly turning my own studio in a mess.I didn't stopped until I collapsed to the floor due to tiredness but I still managed to be awake

No,I kept myself awake.I don't wanna sleep or even close my eyes because that painful scene would only play in my mind again and will hurt me even more

I roamed my eyes around and saw the glass scattered around me.I actually got wounds coming from the glass of the framed photos that I smashed earlier but I didn't mind

The pain that Mina caused me was more than painful. It's way more painful than any physical wounds.I stare at the broken glass and chuckled

Then,an idea popped in my head. Maybe it'll be better if I end up everything here.Maybe the pain would vanish.Maybe I'll forget everything

"Would you even shed a tear if I end up everything here Mina?Would you cry for me?you would right?"

Love really tricked me.It made me took the risk.It made me smile in the beginning but now it's hurting me.It's killing me

They say,
'Love and pain comes together.Pain makes the love stronger and struggles made the relationship stronger'

Fucking dumb philosophers! How can they even thought of that fucking idea

Isn't love only wanting what's best for your partner?
If you really love someone then why would you hurt them?Why would you lie?why would you cheat?

Is cheating part of loving me Mina? Does cheating excites you?Are you having fun hurting me behind my back?

"Did you even loved me,Mina?"Did you even cared?"

Maybe not 'cause if she did then she wouldn't cheat right?She wouldn't bother doing things behind my back that could hurt me

Sadly,she did

I chuckled and grabbed a sharp glass and pointed it in my wrist.I made a slit and blood slowly oozed out from the fresh wound that I created

I felt pain but that wasn't even painful compared to what Mina had given me

The blood stopped oozing out from my wound.Maybe I didn't cut enough.Should I cut myself deeper to reach my veins?

Let's try it then

I was about to made another cut when someone suddenly barged in.It's Jeongyeon unnie.Wait,How did she find out that I'm here?

And hey,It's not only Jeongyeon unnie.She's with everyone.I looked at the door and wish for Mina to popped out

I waited and hope that she'll come and hugged me. That she'll come and explain to me or maybe tell me that the kiss was all an accident.Or she was just framed up by that woman.That she'll come and take away all this pain

I waited,but she didn't come

A slapped waked me up from my delusions and there I saw Jeongyeon unnie crying.I looked around and they were all crying even the great savage yoda was silently weeping

I looked at my wrist and realized what have I done.I dropped the glass and started to cry as soon as I felt Jeongyeon unnie's warm hug.Everyone came closer to me and hug me.Others were holding my hands

"Don't you dare do that again,Chaeyoung.."

"We are here for you.We are always here for you please remember that"

"We got you cub,we're all here for you"

I don't know who's talking anymore.All I know is all of them cared for me.All of them were here for me so I grabbed the moment and cried in under their comfort

"It fucking hurts..It fucking hurts"

"We know chaeng but you need to know that we are here.We're all in this together okay?"

"I love her so much..I love Mina so much.."

"We know you do,Chaeng.It's just that sometimes love ain't enough"

I cried hardly hearing those words.Is really love not enough?Was my love not enough? Am I not enough?

"Am I not enough?what am I lacking?Where did I went wrong?Why did she have to do that?''

"You are enough Chaeyoung.Never ever think you aren't enough"

"Everything will be alright Chaeng.."

I cried and cried hoping the pain would disappear soon.Due to tiredness and being drained emotionally I slowly felt sleepy and then everything fades away

I love you Mina..

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Sorry for the typos and for the sad UD..
I Hope you aren't planning to kill me guys
Stay safe everyone

-chaempot🖤