Forty one

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"I need you to talk to Alex," Izzie blocked Erin in the hallway of the Grey house. Erin raised her eyebrows.

"I'm naked, Izzie," she said.

"I need you to talk to Alex," she said again. Erin motioned to her naked body.

"Again, tits are on display and I have Jesse waiting in my bedroom for me. What's so important?" she asked.

"Rebecca wasn't pregnant. It was a hysterical one and now she's staying downstairs with him," Izzie said. Erin looked at Izzie with a frown.

"And you're poking your nose in it, right?" she said.

"What?" Izzie said.

"Alex knows what he's doing and I get that you're trying to look out for him but you're just gonna piss him off and send him in the wrong direction. He knows his limits and if he's struggling, he'll come to us for help. Leave him be," Erin said.

"I need you to talk to him!" Izzie cried. Erin sighed.

"Fine," she said. She walked to the top of the stairs. "Alex?" she shouted.

"Yeah?" he called upstairs.

"Everything good with you and Rebecca? Need anything?" she said.

"Got any clothes? You're more her size," he appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

"Give me a minute," she said. He nodded and she ran to grab some clothes. She threw them down to him.

"Thank you," he said.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"I can handle it," he said. She nodded.

"Here if you need anything," she said. He nodded and walked away. She looked back at Izzie. "There you go," she said.

"That's not what I meant," Izzie said.

"Do it yourself. I'm not your slave," Erin rolled her eyes. She walked to the bathroom and grabbed some condoms, walking back to her room with Jesse.







"I want to talk a bit more about your suicide attempt when you were fifteen," Dr. Wyatt said. Erin looked at her lap.

"Okay," she said.

"I only bring it up because Meredith told me about your mother. I can't say anything other than that but she said you knew," she said.

"She slit her wrists in the kitchen. I was two. Meredith was five. Dad had left but Richard wouldn't leave Adele. She made Meredith promise not to call the ambulance so she had to wait until she'd passed out and then could do it," Erin said. Wyatt hummed.

"Why did you do it?" she asked. Erin sighed.

"I was struggling with my sexuality. Really struggling. Mom was homophobic and for a bisexual teenager, that's hard to deal with. Meredith had gone out and so had my mom so I figured I'd just do it, end all of the pain. I tried to slit my wrists but Meredith found me before I could die," Erin said.

"Do you still have the scars?" Wyatt asked. Erin nodded and rolled up her sleeves, showing her wrists to Wyatt.

"It was bad. I almost died. I'm glad I didn't," Erin said, leaning back against the couch.

"You're glad you didn't. That's good," Wyatt smiled. "When did you feel glad?" she asked.

"Like, how long after did I realise I fucked up?" Erin said. Wyatt chuckled and nodded.

"Yes," she said.

"I don't know," Erin decided. "I was pissed off. For a while. Really pissed. I struggled a lot as a teenager and I didn't know how else to get rid of everything bad happening. I think it was gradual, bit by bit over time until I was just glad to still be here," Erin said.

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