'Till Time Runs Out

Chapter 14: How To Say Goodbye

-Darcy's POV-

We were now on Christmas break Christmas was just a week away and had been spending almost everyday with Michael and Liz the past month had been a disaster for them. 

*Flashback to a month ago*

Today was the day, Isaac's family and closest friends were all sat around in his room. It had been a month since the accident and still no changes. We had been mentally preparing ourselves for this day. The chances were very slim that he would wake up, and if he didn't today we would have to say goodbye. The amount of tears and sobs going around this room were heartbreaking. We had been spending the whole day here, 'saying our goodbye' as the doctor had told us too. His friends first, so the three of us go in together tears streaming down our faces me holding on to both Liz and Michael's hands. Liz falls beside the bed realising my hand and grabing onto Isaac's sobbing not letting go. That was what our goodbyes consisted of, memories shared and an abundance of tears. How does one prepare for death. How does one accept that this is the end. Once everyone had said there goodbye's his family and us are in the room, saying our last goodbye. His family on one side of the bed us on the other. Holding onto him. Not ready for this at all. The nurse shuts off the machines.

"I'm very sorry for your loss" she says with a frown before exiting the room. Everyone is balling in the room and no one can contain there emotions. This was one of the hardest deaths any of us have ever gone through.

*Back to reality*

One of the hardest parts of that all was thinking about my situation. That could be me and as I look around at my life now and see all the people that could be affected. I cant. I cant do this to people. I wont do this to people. When asked what I want for christmas my reply is always to be ok. For there to be nothing wrong with me. But no one, no one in the world is able to give me all I want in life. I needed to minimalize the people who would get hurt by me. Seeing what Isaac did to Michael was something I could not let happen again to him. The pain he went through was not something I would ever wish on anyone, let alone him again. So I dialed his number, prepared to make the hardest call of my life. Once he answered I told him that he had to come over. That we needed to talk. I could hear the confusion in his voice when he said ok. I had been battling this out in my head for the past month. I loved Michael, I loved him so much. That is why I have to do this. I had to tell him what was wrong with me. Tears were streaming down my face and I had to wipe them away and try and stay strong while I do this. The doorbell rings and I can feel my heart breaking more and more. I go up the stairs opening the door he smiles when he sees me and gives me a kiss which I stop right away. He looks at me and I look away. Not being able to stand the pain of looking at him. I take his hand bringing him into my room. 

"Michael, I need to tell you something" I say holding back the tears as best as I can. "Something about me. That is going to change everything" I say tears now streaming down my face. He is sat beside me on my bed holding my hands looking at me concerned. 

"Darcy whatever it is we will be ok" he says squeezing my hands only causing me to cry harder and with that I spit it all out. I tell him everything the doctors have told me, everything I know about what is wrong with me. He shakes his head the whole time. "No. No thats not true!" he sobs. "It cant be true!" he cries tears are streaming down both of our faces. 

"I wish it wasn't Michael. I do" I cry. "We cant be together. I wont let you get hurt by this. I wont let you go through the pain you feel twice. I cant. I love you to much to do that to you" I sob. 

"Darcy no! I dont care what happens whatever happens at least we can be together! I just want to be with you! Whatever the consequences whatever happens. We can do it together!" he screams tears falling down his face. I just shake my head. 

"Michael it has to be this way. I have seen what this does to people and I cant stand to see it happen to you again Michael! I cant! You deserve a perfect full life and I cant give that to you. I will never be able to give it to you!" I scream wiping away my tears. I slam my lips against his, knowing this will be the last time I ever kiss him. He holds onto me, both of us shaking tears flowing down our faces. "I love you Michael. I love you so much. Which is why we can not be together" I say quietly standing up turning around looking out the window unable to look at him. Knowing that if I do, I will change my mind. But this is how it has to be. 

"I love you so much Darcy and if this is what you need than this is how it has to be" he says and I hear him leave running up my stairs, hearing the front door close and his car drive away breaks me. I fall onto my bed shaking, crying, feeling as if I have lost everything. I can not stop crying and my mum runs down the stairs. 

"Darcy! Darcy what is wrong!!" she screams running into my room, she sees me crying and puts together the pieces. She lies beside me in bed pulling me into her arms. I can tell she is crying to and my heart is completely shattered. "I know what I have to do" she say sadly and gets out of bed leaving the room, leaving me by myself still crying. 

-Matthew's POV-

I was at home watching a movie by myself. The flat felt empty. Becca and I broke up 2 weeks ago. We just fell out of love. I dont understand how two people can just fall out of love but we did, and we understood that we weren't right for each other. Her parents bought her a new flat closer to the uni and that was that. It wasn't an emotionaly parting. We were ok. Still friends, just not together. I hadn't told Darcy yet, i'm unsure why. It just hadn't come up in our phone calls. I didn't see her much, because I was either focussed on school or she was with her boyfriend Michael. My phone began to ring and when I saw Cassie's name appear on the screen, I felt very confused. She never calls me. I answer with a Hello and hear her crying. 

"Matthew, you need to come over right now. Darcy needs you" she says and with that I hang up the phone grabbing my car keys and driving as fast as I could to there house. Hearing her mum cry scared the crap out of me and I knew something must have been very wrong. After the quick drive I ran into the house seeing her mum on the couch very upset, I ran down the stairs able to hear her crying from upstairs. I open the door to her room and see her shaking on the bed crying so hard. I run over and get in the bed beside her pulling her into my arms. 

-Darcy's POV-

As soon as I feel the arms wrap around me I know exactly who it was. I turn around and cry into his chest. "Did he hurt you Darcy?" he asks. I shake my head. 

"I hurt him" I manage to cry out. 

"Darcy you need to tell me what is wrong. Tell me what is wrong so I can help you! Just tell me please!!" I can hear the pain in his voice and I know that him seeing me cry hurts him too. I just shake my head somemore. Unable to tell Matthew, the day I tell Matthew is the day it becomes real. The day that it suddenly isn't just something, the day it becomes everything. After what felt like forever I was all out of tears no longer able to cry. "Are you ever going to tell me what is wrong?" he asks. 

"I cant" I mutter. "I physically cant express to you what is wrong with me" I say feeling like i'm completely broken. Like there is nothing else left in me. 

"Darc.. Whatever it is. I am here for you. I am always going to be here for you whatever happens, no matter what. I'm here" he says pulling me into his arms. I know you are. That's the problem. I couldn't just say goodbye to Matthew like I did with Michael. Matthew would never leave, which part of me hates. Part of me hates that I am going to hurt Matthew no matter what. Even if I tried to say goodbye he would glue himself to me for the rest of my life and never leave my side. If I told him he would drop everything in his life to be with me. He would ruin his entire life. Which is why I cant tell him. I cant ruin his life. I'm just not worth it. 

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I can just see it now. Pitchforks and screaming angry people outside my house freaking out about this chapter! I know most of you are going to be so upset that I have broken up Michael and Darcy! And i'm sorry! 
And I know lots of you are sitting there like what the heck is wrong with Darcy just say it already! I know it must be so annoying but soon enough you will see. I'm sure lots of you have many different thoughts in your heads and are trying to figure out what it is that is wrong with her. But I promise soon enough you will know and all this will make sense. I want to know what you think it is that is wrong with her. Leave your guesses. 

Once again I am sorry... 

-Hannah(: