The Stress Of Being a Superhero

Part 1

!!TRIGGER WARNINGS!!

-Suicidal thoughts
-Suicidal ideology
-Self harm

Please don't read this story if you find those things may affect you negatively, my only intentions are to share my story and I would hate for anyone to be triggered by something I wrote.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Would it matter. Would the world really miss me? I'm so tired, so so tired. I'm so drained. I just want to give up. I don't know how much longer I can keep going. I'm so done. I wish I could just give it all up. Alya and my parents have started to notice me becoming more closed off and I'm trying my hardest to tell them I'm fine but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. Tiki keeps telling me I can't let my negative emotions take over or ill get akumatized and I'm trying but it's so hard. I just need to be free. I need to be able to feel. Something. Anything.

Marinette closed her diary and locked the box. She had given Tiki permission to go meet Chat Noirs kwami, Plagg, her parents were down in the bakery preparing for thnext morning and Alya and Nino were having a date night. Marinette was alone. She walked over to her desk and opened her drawer to place her diary back inside when she saw a small pair of thread scissors. Without thinking she picked them up, it wasn't any sort of rational decision. It just happened. She thought perhaps she would finally be able to feel something among the numbness. Slowly she rolled up her sleeve and stretched out her wrist. Almost in slow motion the blade glided across her wrist. They were sharp and she winced at the pain but continued. She made a few more cuts into the skin. Blood trickled down her arm and onto the floor. Marinette dropped the scissors and fell to the floor clutching her wrist while sobbing silently.

Tiki arrived back at the Dupain-Cheng Bakery sometime after four in the morning. She floated through the hatch on Marinette's balcony and landed on the empty bed. Tiki looked around the room before picking up on the subtle and muffled sobs coming from below the bed. She made her way down the ladder and gasped. She saw Marinette laying on the floor, tears streaming down her red blotchy cheeks and blood staining Mari's shirt and hands. "Marinette?" Tiki called out barely above a whisper. Marinette looked up at her kwami. "I'm so sorry Tiki." Tiki lunged forward wrapping her small arms around Marinette's wrist. "Oh Marinette. I'm sorry too. Its my job to help you and I failed you." The two sat crying and holding each other for a while. "Let's get you cleaned up." Tiki said breaking the silence.

Marinette and Tiki made their way to the bathroom. Marinette looked in the mirror and her reflection stared back. Her eyes were clouded with tears but the blood on her shirt was still somewhat visible. She began to cry again. "What have I done Tiki. I could have been akumatized. I could have failed you. I've let everyone down." She choked out between sobs. "Marinette, you haven't been akumatized, you haven't failed, you haven't let anyone down. Stop saying things like that. I've met many Ladybugs in the past, and many of them also felt inadequate, also thought they failed but I'm remind them they haven't. Being Ladybug is a job not may could do, it takes immense strength both physical and mental. But you are one of the strongest Ladybugs I've ever had. I'm so proud of you Marinette." Marinette watched as a single tear rolled down the kwamis cheek. "I love you Tiki."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello! Thank you so much for reading the first part of my story. I have put TWs at the start just in case someone didn't read the description but I just wanted to mention the majority of the SH is over. I will be talking about the cuts later and just thought I'd mention that so you know what to expect. If talking about cuts and scars may trigger you please don't read this story as I would hate to trigger you and that is not my intention.

I got this idea after I re watched the episode "Heart Hunter". Seeing Mari break down to Luka made me realize just how much pressure she was under.

All that said, I hope you enjoyed and are looking forward to the next part! :)
Bug out! 🐞