the girl who lost it all [d.m]

twenty eight: arma

arma: armour, weapons, arms

———

ELARA didn't want to care.

It shouldn't have mattered anyway. She didn't even know why it mattered. But all she could think about was the words she'd heard from behind that tapestry, where she'd been curled up on the floor in the alcove, skimming through pages of the book in her hands.

All I could possibly want from her is a quick fuck.

It really shouldn't have mattered. He wasn't doing anything wrong. It wasn't like he'd told her he cared about her—although his actions had hinted at them.

He'd forced her to look at herself in the mirror and tried to make her see that she wasn't property. He'd all but freaked out when he found her with Orion and had come up with rules that would ensure she stayed safe.

Was she over-analysing this? Was he only concerned about her safety because she was some weird enigma—a supposedly powerful witch?

It didn't matter. She should've never told Carolyn about what she'd been studying. She should've never have thought that Carolyn wouldn't use that information against her.

"She's sulking."

Elara jerked herself out of her thoughts, looking up to find Iris and Demetrius standing in front of her, having finished training with each other.

"I'm not sulking," Elara said from her place on the porch steps where she was waiting for the Dittany leaves to dry on the table in the corner of the porch. "How was training?"

Demetrius stretched out a muscle in his neck and gestured to his twin as he did so. "This one's gotten better. She can almost defeat me now."

Iris rolled her eyes, pocketing her wand. "I did defeat you, you idiot." Her eyes roamed over Elara's face. "You're definitely sulking. What's going on?"

Both twins plopped down on either side of Elara, squeezing her in. Between the three of them, they covered the entire step, blocking the way for anyone who wanted to pass.

Elara wasn't naive enough to think her friends would let her off the hook. But Merlin forbid she ever tell them about Malfoy so she pulled up the easy excuse.

"I don't like this," she said, staring out at the snow spread out ahead of them, left behind from yesterday's blizzard. She'd barely been able to see when Lucifer had brought her back—and it hadn't helped that Draco hadn't come with her, had chosen to remain behind with Orion. "Not being able to train."

Iris sighed, scuffing her boot across the step below them. "I know. Have you tried with a wand again?"

She shook her head. "The last time I touched my wand, all I felt was emptiness." She frowned down at her hands. "Like there was nothing in me that could be channeled into it. Like I didn't have magic."