no funny business | levi x reader

sixteen [nsfw]

A/N: We're taking the full tour, people. Bedroom sex, office sex, public sex, car sex- and now we're onto shower sex. Enjoy my fellow whores. xoxo

Tuesday afternoon, Historia sends out a mass email detailing some sort of fundraiser. You frown at it, trying to understand what's going on. One of the companies' clients- an elementary school- was holding a fundraiser for money for a field trip, and as a token of good grace, Eldian Enterprises was going to supply foods for a bake sale.

The email sounds like it's calling for volunteers. You ponder stepping up to bake something, but it slips your mind rather quickly when Levi send you a week's worth of work instructions that need to be updated.

At about 4:30, Erwin calls a meeting in the conference room. You sit between Sasha and Connie (there's a pre-established rule that someone always has to be sitting between those two) as the blond man sets up a transparent jar at the front of the room with a bunch of paper slips inside of it.

"What's the jar for?" you whisper to Sasha.

She shrugs, munching on her chocolate bar. "No idea."

You frown. "Why? Don't people have to volunteer?"

"Normally, they do," Erwin agrees, and you turn back to the front. "But we've had some issues with volunteers in the past."

"That was one time," Eren protests, "and it wasn't my fault!"

"There are four different eye witness accounts, Eren."

"Still!"

"Besides, the last time someone went to help out with some sort of school fundraiser-" Marco starts.

Reiner punches Marco lightly in the shoulder, scowling. "Don't even think about it, Marco. That wasn't my fault."

"Was it not?" Annie muses.

"Well, there's a reason we've been asked to simply supply goods and not attend this year," Erwin says, and a murmur runs through the group. "We don't need any more incidents with the police."

"That was Annie's fault," Reiner grumbles.

"No, it wasn't," the blonde woman mutters.

You glance between Connie and Sasha, confused as to what incident they're referring to. "It's better if you don't ask," Connie says sympathetically, patting your arm.

You swallow hard and nod. "Right. Don't ask."

"Regardless," Erwin says, and everyone falls silent again, "instead of asking for volunteers, we're going to draw six names and those people will be asked to bake some sort of goods that we'll have Historia drop off tomorrow. If you are chosen and don't wish to bake, then you're more than welcome to attend the end of year meeting with me in a few weeks."

A collective shudder runs through the conference room. "What's the end of year meeting?" you whisper to Sasha.

"Eight hours of listening to old men discuss business," she whispers back. "No breaks, and the snacks are always stale."

You hum in understanding. That sounds boring.

"Alright, so we've reached an agreement." Erwin rifles his hand through the jar, and you wait with baited breath. He pulls out three slips of paper and unfolds them. "Jean," he reads, and you hear a groan from behind you. "Bertolt. Mikasa."

Jean's groan abruptly changes to a happy laugh. "Hey, Mikasa, we could bake together if you wanted-"

"Fuck off, Jean," Eren interrupts, "I can-"