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i always told myself
that i could not possibly
fall more in love with you.
but here you are,
proving me wrong once again. 

~~~~~

thursday, may 20th 2021

hunched over at the round wooden table, wil flips through several detailed pages filled with flowers, fabric, phone numbers, musicians, and anything else you could think would be in a wedding planner. 

"you know, i can take over for a little bit" i sighed, smiling at him. 

"no no no you go eat" he replied.

i pulled his hair back and gave him a small kiss on the forehead.

"i love you" i said, looking at my hunched over, sleepy fiancee at the table. 

"i love you" he replied, looking to his left out the large window. 

suddenly, i got a phone call from an unknown number. i answered to an unfamiliar female voice.

"hey lavender, i know you probably don't want to be hear this from me but uhm its suzie" 

"can you hold on a second" i said to her, that name sounded familiar. grabbing my purse, i rummaged through it and grabbed a metal slate out from it. brighton airport, "suzie"

i stood in silence for a few moments. how did she get my number? i can't blame HER for what happened. it was jack. all jack. she's just the poor girl that was probably forced into sleeping with him.

"hello?" she said again through the phone. pinching myself, i raised the phone back to my ear.

"yes, hello suzie, what's going on" i said gritting my teeth.

"well.... i think maybe you should just get over here. i'll explain everything there. just be here as soon as possible." she said, her tone dropping frantically, as my heart dropped. 

"thank you, i'll be on my way." i said, hanging up. 

"wil, you can stay and plan if you wish but i've got to go up to the house, i'll probably be back soon though." i said grabbing my keys. and heading towards the door.

"uhm you're not facing jack there alone." he scoffed catching up with me. 

~~~~

it had been a while since i drove through this area of town. the car was dead silent, tense. as we rode up the long driveway i saw cars. cop cars. ambulances. my foot drove on the gas as i floored it and came to a stop. 

i ran as fast as i could to the door when i was stopped by 2 policemen. 

"let me in. i'm the owner of the house." i said, lying only a little bit. the men released my shoulders and i swung the door open. the room was cold. the heat hadn't been running in days. i looked around the room trying to spot suzie when i heard a voice next to me. 

"come and sit down so we can talk." she said, grabbing my shoulder and leading me to the office. i sat down in my grandmothers chair and she sat across from me on the footstool, taking my hands in hers. 

"it was jack." she said softly

"he- he got angry at me night before last and well... he binged." she continued. "he took all the alcohol down to the basement and locked himself in there. i had work the next morning so i had to take off all day, and well when i got home last night i saw a regiment on the kitchen." her voice choked up. 

"continue" i said. i already know where this was going. i held my breath. 

"well i saw right next to it was a cart. but it was empty. i didn't suspect much of it until i went downstairs. when i opened the basement door i found jack passed out on the old sofa, and all the med bottles. that's when it hit me. i checked his pulse and well, there was one, but he felt my hand and he uh grabbed my wrist." her eyes started to fill

"i ran out as soon as i could, locking the top of the basement stairs behind me. i think he's still down there, but lavender i'm so sorry.." she said crying out. my eyes were now burning, and when i blinked a tear slowly glided down my cheek.

"my grandmother." i said calmly.

"is she-" i began, but her facial expression said enough. i nodded, stood up, gave her a tight hug, and left the room. 

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