VIOLENT DELIGHTS, aaron hotchner

alchemy for the alone

Just as before, the Replicator falls dormant. It takes two weeks of coming in everyday and obsessing over the unchanging case facts for the Director to classify him as inactive, forcing the BAU into one last case before a Christmas break.

Aaron had hoped for a chance to spend a full two weeks with Jack, but when ViCAP calls with a small town serial killer on December 28th, he has no choice but to leave him with Jessica.

Juliette's in her usual spot at the round table, flipping through a book and ignoring the conversation around her, at least until a piece of caramel popcorn comes flying from where Morgan's sitting. "What'd you do for the holidays, Leroux?"

"I consulted on a few cases for an old lawyer friend." She answers, throwing the popcorn back. "I don't celebrate anything."

"Come on, don't be the Grinch. Why wouldn't you celebrate anything?"

Juliette sets her book down as Hotch enters the room. "I'm not religious, never have been."

It's a relatively routine case to Juliette, an obvious pattern and MO, but learning that Spencer found the pattern of disappearances through an obscure newspaper subscription is more concerning.

She tries to pass it off as his usual quirkiness, when he snaps at a local officer or doesn't sleep trying to solve the case, but finding him by himself in a dark room of the precinct on their second day of the case, she can't help but silently sit across from him. "What's really going on?"

His guard is immediately let down, tears threatening to spill. "It's been two months and fifteen days, I can't- I can't sleep."

"You know this can't go on."

"I realize that the socially acceptable amount of time to grieve is coming to an end, but—" When Spencer's voice cracks, Juliette cuts him off.

"You can grieve for as long as you need, but you can't do it alone." He tilts his gaze down to the table, so she continues. "After this case is closed, let's talk, just you and I."

Spencer nods, forcing Juliette to squeeze his hand and leave the room.

They close the case that afternoon, and while rescuing a young man and getting the hell out of the chilling small town is a celebratory feat for most of the team, Juliette can't help but feel mountains of sympathy as Spencer stares idly out of the jet window.

Her knees rest against Aaron's in their opposite seats, reading in silence until he finally closes his files. "Jack's with Jessica's parents for the new year, we could go out for drinks tonight?"

"I'm having Spencer over for dinner tonight." Juliette answers in an equally hushed voice. "Tomorrow?"

Aaron nods in understanding. "Is he alright?"

"He will be."

As soon as the jet lands, Juliette's picking up takeout and rushing home to change into a sweatshirt before Spencer knocks on the door. He looks more disheveled than on the jet, and the bags under his eyes are deeper in her dim kitchen.

But he still manages to talk for the entirety of their dinner, spewing trivial facts about ancient Greek literature. Juliette knows he's stalling, distracting himself from his mind, but listens anyways.

She's quiet for most of their meal, nodding along as she cleans up her kitchen and pours non-alcoholic drinks before setting them up on her couch. It's only when he finishes his train of thought, taking a sip of his drink, that she starts, "What's going on, Spencer?"

It seems he realized this was coming, but his eyes still well up from the pure rush of emotion. "I can't sleep, because when... when I do, I dream of Maeve. It's like the sweetest relief imaginable, but only for a moment."