I'm Secretly In Love With Her

22.

M I N A

Son Chaeyoung.

Son Chaeyoung.

Son Chaeyoung.

Aren't you tired of running all day and night in my mind? Why can't you just get off out of my mind?

"There you are." I turn around to check who it was.

"Hm, I thought you are asleep already?" I asked.

"Nah, how about you? Aren't you going to sleep yet? You said you need to attend a meeting early in the morning." Said Sana who stand beside me.

"Yeah, but I can't sleep." I said.

"Why? Is there something bothering my penguin?" She asked which made me giggle.

"It's nothing, I'm just thinking o-." She cut me off.

"Thinking of Chaeyoung?"

"Yah! I am not." I said which is clearly a lie.

I am not purposely thinking of her, it's her that makes me think of her.

I don't know why. Is it still normal?

"Are you sure? You seemed to be thinking of her." She teased.

"I don't know. Maybe?"

"So, you are thinking about her."

"I said maybe."

"Yeah right, it's the same for me. So, is she the one you are texting earlier?"

"Text?"

"Yeah, you are smiling so wide earlier. Your face nearly rips off." She said and laugh.

Now I remember something about the message.

To: Ms. Chaeyoung
You can stay over here whenever you want. If you want, you can stay forever with me.

From: Ms. Chaeyoung
I'll gladly stay with you forever Mina.

Just remembering about it is making my heart beat so fast.

"Wow, I just told you about how you are smiling earlier about whatever you are texting with and now you are blushing!" Sana exclaimed.

I am blushing?

"Oh my gosh! Tell me already that it is Chaeyoung who made you smile so wide earlier and made you blush right now!" She said.

"Whatever you think it is Sana." I said and she groaned.

"Hm, I am sure that it is Chaeyoung. But, tell me honestly Mina. Do you like her?" Sana asked that made me a question about it too.

Do I like her?

"I don't know." I truthfully said.

I don't know, I don't know how you can say you like someone. I don't know how you will know that you are falling to someone.

"What do you mean you don't know."

"I don't know, I just don't know." I said and look at her.

"Do I look like I like her?" I asked and she immediately nodded her head.

"Yeah, I don't know from your perspective, but for me. You like her, hence you might have already fallen in love with her." She said.

"How can you say that?"

"Well, I can see the difference when you are with us and when you are with her. You do smile when you are with us but you are with her, your smile looks more genuine. When you look at her, I don't know but your eyes shine every time your eyes can sight her. When she talks, you always focus on what she says which you never do with us. Lastly, you two already look like a couple and the two of you are always flirting." She stated.

Is that how you'll know that you like someone?

"Does that mean I like her?" I asked.

"Maybe, it depends on you, Mina. It depends on what your heart says. Tell me, how does your heart acts when you are with her? How do you feel when you are with her?" Sana asked.

Is there any difference between when I am with her and when I am with the others?

"I don't know. I feel comfortable when I am talking to her. I somehow feel safe when she is with me and she always makes me forget my worries. I feel happy whenever we both open up to each other. I feel happy and contented whenever she holds my hands." I said and look at Sana, she gesture for me to continue with what I am saying.

"My... My heart beats so fast every time she protects me, every time she holds my hand, and every time she smiled at me showing her cute dimples." Thinking about her face makes me smile.

Sana suddenly squeal.

"What?" I asked and she looks at me happily.

"I declare you, Myoui Mina, a girl from Japan had fallen in love with Son Chaeyoung, a girl from South Korea."

I am in love with her?

But...

"Impossible."

"Yah! Mina! Don't you get it? You are in love with her! Your statement says so. Your face says so. Your heart says so. You, yourself are screaming that you are in love with her." Sana said poking me.

"But... What if, what if I am not?" I asked.

"Mina, yes you are! Just don't deny it. Mina, I have been in your state before, of course, I know it well already." She said and I stayed silent.

"Mina, we don't find the love we want because it is the other way around, love finds us. Love will come in an unexpected time and unexpected event. Love is just like surprise quizzes, it comes unexpectedly without us knowing and without us being prepared for it." She said.

Love comes in unexpectedly in our life but the love that came in can just vanish away unexpectedly too.

"But... I am..."

"But you are scared?" She asked and I just nod.

"Love is always scary, Mina. When you love, it always scares you because you are afraid to get hurt. But that is how love works, when you fall in love, then you fall in love, when you get hurt, then get hurt. Hurt and broken hearts will always be part of love, happiness and sadness will always be a part of it. Love isn't balanced without happiness and sadness."

That is why I always never chooses to fall in love.

"Do you get it now?"

"Yeah, but still."

"Still what?"

"Still, I don't want to go further with what I feel." I stated and I heard her sigh.

"Why? Don't you still get how love works?"

"I get it Sana, I know how it is. It's just me, okay?"

"What is wrong with you?" She asked and I look at her in the eyes.

"I am not scared of the process of love. I am scared of me, myself, I am scared of the love that I will give, I am scared that I will do it the wrong way."