When The Devil Falls in Love

Chapter Twenty Eight-Me without You

"Here's another poem,
like all others before and after,
dedicated to you.
There isn't anything left to be said
but I will spend my life
trying to put you into words.
You who is every goodness,
every optimism
and hope.
Your love is a better fate for me
than anything I could wish for.
If you are a part of me,
then you're the best part.
And if you're separate from me,
then you are my destination.
But I've become a weary traveller,
so please,
let us never be apart."
― Kamand Kojouri

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It was wrong. Everything was feeling wrong. The constant pain was devouring him in whole but still, he smiled. He laughed when his father patted his back. He helped his mother when she went to cook. He looked at the woman who says that she loves him. 

It was supposed to be enough. It has to be enough. Only it wasn't. He wasn't laughing, he wasn't smiling..He was screaming inside. He just wanted to grab his heart pulling it right out of his chest and throw it away.

So that the pain will lessen. So that he can at least breathe a little. So that man will stop reappearing in front of his eyes.

"What's the matter Mew?"

He looked at his father vacantly trying to smile. "Wrong? nothing's wrong. It's my off day. How can anything be wrong?" 

His father looked at him with furrowed brows not liking the way his son was looking now. "You can tell me anything you know that right?"

He smiled again while picking at his food.

"You're not eating either. You are so thin, son. Tell me what's wrong. Otherwise, how will I be able to help you?"

Mew grabbed a huge spoon of rice shoving it into his mouth. "I am eating. You just worry too much."

His father didn't look convinced but decided to let things go for now as Puifai and his wife sat down at the table.

"So when are you two getting married? Isn't it time already?" Mew's mother smiled at her son.

But Mew couldn't reciprocate it back. He felt as if someone was grabbing at this throat squeezing it tightly. 

I don't think I can like you anymore. "

His eyes crystalized again as he shoves more food into his mouth trying to not hear those words more.

"Soon, Aunty. But your son is so busy nowadays. He doesn't even care for me." Her hand slid into his as he looked at her.

Liking you when you love someone else, aren't you asking too much from me?

He shut his eyes removing his hand from her immediately as the pain hit his chest again.

"Mew..son are you ok?" His mother asked when she saw him shutting his eyes with pain. He looked at her trying to smile again.

"O..Of course..I'm....." 

It is too tiring. I don't want to do it anymore.

 He gulped down the lump that formed in his throat trying to not let her see the tears gathering in his eyes. "I'm absolutely fine. Don't worry Ma."

She was about to ask more but Puifai changed the topic and he felt glad for this. Cause he doesn't know how much more he can pretend to be ok when he wasn't ok at all. He was far from being ok.

Those words keep replaying in his mind when he was asleep or awake. Those cruel words and that cruel eyes refused to leave him alone. 

But even still he was happy that he at least get to see that man but that man didn't even give him that much privilege. He transferred him to another department where Mr. Atthapahan works. He even made sure to not come in contact with Mew at work at all.