Complete us - A BTS ot7+1 Soulmate story.

15

The dynamic in the apartment definitely changed the second Jungkook had joined us here. While I had been wallowing in self pity for the past days I had also grown accustomed to an almost constantly quiet Taehyung, saying something only when asking or being asked. It wasn't picked up as unusual to me because I didn't have anything to compare it to. But I realised now that he had been silent as a way of giving me space, giving me the room to breathe I wanted and probably needed, only invading it when I gave signs of wanting him to. It was thoughtful and kind but all I could recognise it as was that I was an asshole who had made him walk around on eggshells to not trigger an even longer period of silence as I disappeared in my own mind.

With jungkook here however, Taehyung had barely stopped talking since we walked through the door. They were giving a detailed report of every minute they had been apart, not leaving anything to their imagination. I was in awe of how excited he was about telling his soulmate about regular things he had done while being here with me. I'm pretty sure they both squealed in excitement when he talked about how we had walked on the pier the other day and he had spoken loudly and nobody had batted an eye. He also made his time spent here sound much more exciting than what I had thought he had found it, which made me happy while also sad because it was another testimony to me not paying enough attention to him this week.

I was still struggling to look anywhere other than into Jungkook's eyes and it seemed he was having a similar inconvenience. We had stayed in the sofa for a couple of hours now, the two of them chatting on and me just feeling like I was invading on a moment between two boyfriends, but I was of obvious reasons unable to leave it. It didn't seem like they minded though, they somehow treated me like they were used to having me here, having me this close.

The feeling I had surging through my body when I had the two of them so close was something I couldn't describe even if I tried. It was way beyond my comprehension what safety and emotional intimacy like this felt like. I felt I had been starved all my life and the universe had given me a feast.

But when I think back, I hadn't been starved.

I had been happy, content even. In a loving relationship based on trust, honesty and convenience. But it now felt like that part of my life was me cocooned into a false reality only to one day wake up and realise that I had been given wings. I alone had gotten wings that could take me to new heights, but to properly enjoy it I would have to find someone like me. Someone who also could fly. And that someone wasn't the same someone that I needed while I was in the cocoon. Life is playing a game with me and I don't necessarily hate it as much as I initially thought I would. But I am painfully aware of it and it keeps making me remember every player, both past and present.

But I had to also remember that in order to grow and evolve I would have to take my present more into account and think less of my past. It hadn't been many days and I was allowed to be sad, but in a situation like this I really didn't have much choice but to force myself to build a bridge between before and now and walk over it.

Looking at Jungkook's fine features it suddenly hit me that he was real. I'm not sure why it hadn't clicked until now, but somehow I was still unsure if this was my reality or if this was just some bad tv show I had gotten way too involved with and now considered myself a part of. I hadn't even allowed myself to feel the relief of him not seeming disappointed to meet me, which felt pretty damn good I'm not going to lie.

I had noticed the pull with Taehyung alone, how I constantly wanted to be near him. How it felt weird once I knew the feeling of his presence, to go without it. But I could handle it, it seemed manageable.

Both of them though, like this. The pull was stronger, the presence like a lifeline and I felt like I needed them both close in order to breathe properly.