The Sisters Of The Court

Chapter 57: Scarlett

I spend months in a wheelchair until I can finally walk again and play with my children, I can never have any more. Not after I lost my baby, They told me it was a little girl. A precious little girl that could have been a sister for Licy to play with. I watch as Duckie looks at the bugs crawling around in the dirt. My poor baby, He shouldn't have had to seen that, He still has nightmares about it every night. "Mama, When can we go back to see Nickie?" Licy puts herself on my lap, It seems like she likes him, I don't think she saw him barely the whole time I was gone. "Yes! And Victoria!" Duckie runs up to me and sits on my other knee as I enjoy their warmth, "Victoria is a baby, She is no fun" Licy sticks her tongue out him as I laugh, She's such a headstrong little thing "You are dumb," Duckie sticks her tongue out at her too "George! Don't call anyone dumb!" I scold him, "But she is!" He protests "Enough, Or we won't visit," I scold him as he sits back and I enjoy their warmth as a servant walks up to me "You have a visitor madam," He doesn't even bow as he should to a Grand Duchess, But who would want to visit me? Not Alice. I haven't talked to Alix in forever, "Who is it?" I ask as my children watch inquisitively "Natasha," I turn my head to see Michael, Michael. Can't he leave me alone? It's been years now, He saved my life though. And I'm thankful to him but I'm tired of him chasing after me like a dog, "I came to see how you're doing," He sits down on a chair next to me and Alice and George look at him puzzled "I'm fine, I'm doing well," I look out at the distance and I can feel his gaze bore into me "Who are you?" Alice blurts out "I'm Misha, We Met before little Grand Duchess," He smiles and kisses her small hand as She glares "I don't like that," She pulls her hand away and snuggles closer to me, "Both if you go play," I put them down off my lap and they run off to play. "I brought a telegram for you," He hands the piece of paper, I could have gotten this myself, It's probably unimportant anyways. "Boris will see you here," I look out at my children playing tag, Mikhail is inside as usual "It was nice to see you Grand Duchess," He kisses my hand and stands up sadly, Starting to walk away. "Michael wait," I stand up as he turns around , I need to thank him, He saved my life "You saved my life, Thank you," I press a gentle kiss to his lips, Maybe it will give him closure to leave me alone, It's just a thank you anyways. I see his face flush and he wants more, I know he does "Goodbye Natasha," He bows quickly and walks away hurriedly, I walk back to my chair and open the telegram he gave me Victoria dead. Funeral Soon. Come. What? Aunt Victoria? I read the letter over and over again, Dead? I sink back into my chair processing the news.

A few days later we're on the ship to England, I know Duckies father will be there. He needs to know about Duckie, Even if he did leave me. I take a shaky breath as the ship docks in the port. I slowly walk down to the nursery to get Duckie, Maybe George won't be here, And I don't have to see him. Am I stupid? Of course he is it's his grandmothers funeral. Duckie is sitting on the ground playing with baby Victoria again, She looks like her father "Can you say Georgie?" He tickles her under the chin as she giggles with her blue eyes looking at my Duckie "Duckie, We have to go now," I hold my hand out to him as he kisses Victoria's forehead "Come my love, We have someone to meet," I walk with him down the gangplank as people crowd around us until we can get to the palace "Who are we going to meet mama?" He asks as he trots alongside me as we get to the palace, "Your papa my love," I kiss his forehead as we get inside "Papa? Then Nickie was wrong!" He lights up at the thought of My George being alive "No my love," I say sadly "Your real papa," I stand up again and walk to my room, I don't know where Boris is but I don't care. I walk over to the desk, And find a piece of paper on it as Duckie sits on the bed swinging his feet His majesty the prince of Wales requests your presence in the Library of Queen Victoria I put it down and shut my eyes to compose myself, I didn't expect him wanting to see me, I thought he'd forgotten about me but maybe he just wants to see The Tsars whore, "When am I going to meet him?" He holds his elephant that I gave him the moment I got out of the hospital, A shiver runs down my spine as I think about it, The hot metal, The searing pain, The blood, Oh God all the blood, My baby's blood mine, "Mama?" Duckie tugs on my dress and brings me out of it, I can't think about, "Right now my love, Lets go," I smile at him as he puts his elephant on the bed and follows me, My heart starts beating nervously, I haven't seen him in almost six years, "What is he like mama?" Duckie skips next to me as we walk to the library "I don't know anymore darling," I hold onto his hand tightly as we enter and I bow, Not looking at George "Your majesty," I stand up and look at him as he turns to me with something in his eyes I can't read, Longing? He snaps out of it and realizes I have a child with me "Grand Duchess, A Pity to see each other at such a sad time," Of course it is, Our relative is dead, I think snappily all my anger at him going coming out, I loved him and I told him but that doesn't matter, I had George and now he's gone too "A pity it is to see each other at all," I say sourly as Duckie looks at him with wide eyes. George just ignores me and looks at Duckie instead "And who is this?" Can he really not tell? "This is my son. George." I say holding Duckie close to me, He's my baby, He was never here for him, He left us both, "Hello George, It seems we have the same name, Tell me young lad how old are you?" He squats down to his level to look at him, "Five," Duckie says meekly, He's grown up so fast and so well, He'll be six in a few months, I smile to myself "He looks a lot like Nicholas." George stops to think "Or me," How is he not catching on? He wasn't careful that night, I stay silent glaring as Duckie looks up at me, "Mama is this papa?" He asks hopefully, He always talks about meeting his real papa, "Yes my son it is your papa," I say softly as George looks at me shocked "Y-You that night, He is my son and you never told me!" He manages to sputter out, How was I supposed to tell him? He left, And has a family of his own, A wife "You left, I tried to tell you and you left." I say simply as Duckie hides behind me "You pushes me to leave and never to speak to me again, I was hurt, What else was I supposed to do?! I wouldn't have left if you immediately told me you were with child! I would have done things differently! Don't pin this on me!" He says frantically, He told me it was all lies just s he could get in bed with me, "He's scaring me mama," Duckie holds on me, He has no right to scare my baby that he hasn't been been there for, "You can't change the past. You made your decision. Now please stop scaring my son." I coolly holding my sons hand as tears well up in his eyes, Scared "You've been away too long," He says and kneels to Duckie's height "Hello my boy I'm sorry for scaring you, But since I'm your papa can we spend time together while you're here?" He takes Duckies small hands into his, It will just hurt Duckie in the end when we go back, Duckie nods his head silently as George stands up "You should have come to me," He walks out of the room.

That night I get another message from George asking me to come see him, What else is he going to do? I wonder as I enter the room, "Your majesty," I bow low again In his presence "Welcome back to England Scarlett," He looks down at me even though he's barely taller, "It's not a happy welcome back," I say with an edge, "Have you called me here to taunt and pain me George? Or do you actually need something?" I look up at him, "No, I didn't," He pauses "I missed you," He whispers, I can barely believe what I'm hearing, Miss me? He never wrote to me, He was the first one to break my heart! "Miss me? You broke my heart!" I laugh "You broke mine too," He looks at me in hurt, How? I just told him to leave my room not leave the country, All my past hurt bubbles up, "Then I guess we're even," I turn on my heel to leave but he grabs me by the hand and kisses me deeply, he puts one hand on the back of my neck pulling me closer to his body. "I have missed you so much Scarlett, You can't imagine what you do to me," He looks at me longingly, He's Married, I'm not going down that path again, I can't. I Look at him shocked, I didn't expect that. "Stop it you're married!" I step away but he pulls me closer "But I love you, I love you more then her," He pleads with me as my heart beats fast "Don't do this please! I got over the pain of you leaving!" I plead, I can't love him again, I got over it a long time ago, "You made me leave, I was heart broken, But I have missed you so much Scarlett, I think about you everyday," He takes my hands gently and squeezes them "I want a family with you, I want to be with you," He pulls me closer to him "Don't do this George! It won't work! You have children with her!" I warn, Nobody would leave anyone for a common whore like me, he told me this before and he didn't. He left me instead. "George please, I am married too," I whisper starting to give in, No ones actually ever treated me with love except him, I've never been able to say no to him. It would just be a week anyways then I'll go back to Russia and everything will be normal again. He is going to be king, how am I supposed to deny him? "My love, I've heard of what he's done to you. I saw it with my own eyes, do you really love him?" I look down at my hands as he continues to talk. He does know about it, he saw Boris slap me that one time. Has he really loved me this entire time? I don't-I can't trust his words. He said he loved me before and he left me without a fight. I can't love him again either, I love George not the man standing in front of me. "No, I never loved him." I admit still looking down at my hands. He lifts my chin up to face him gently before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close, "But I love you." He whispers into my hair and I pull away. "Don't do this to yourself, don't get involved with a whore like me." I can't love him in the way he wants me to, I can never be a family with him. He already has one, I'm tired of being the other woman, always shoved into the shadows while the wife gets everything.   "You are not a whore! Scarlett I have longed for you since the day we were apart!" He holds my hands and gets on his knees before kissing my hands. My eyes widen, how am I supposed to say no? I could never say it to him he always convinced me to do anything he wanted. Just a Week. Just for a week I can give him what he wants from me. Maybe it could get my mind off my grief. He Stands back up and kisses me again, "My love, you are all I ever think about in my lonely life." He ticks a piece of hair behind my ear adoringly with one hand on my waist. He has never been cruel to me, maybe it would distract me. Make him happy in the process. I won't make any promises to anything, I can't stay here and I hope he doesn't expect me to. He must know I can't stay here. I know he won't let me go unless I say yes to him. "Alright." I nod my head silently and he wraps his arms around my waist resting his chin on my shoulder and I wrap my arms around him hesitantly. "It's been so long, I've missed you so much. Can I kiss you?" He asks me, I shouldn't be doing this. I should have said no but I need it too. I need a distraction or my grief will move in on me, I can't believe it's already been two years without him. It's gotten better some, I think about it less but I'll always love him. I pull away from our embrace and kiss him urgently pulling him closer to me by his shirt and he wraps his arms around my waist. He kisses me back gently, as if he's afraid to hurt me. We both get on the bed and he continues kissing me gently resting his hand on my thigh. "I'll be gentle with you darling." He says as we break away from kissing one another, I nod as he undoes my blouse and takes it off of me. I shut my eyes and flush in embarrassment, bruises dot all over my body and one is visible right above the top of my corset, black and blue. "He did this to you?" He asks me and I open my eyes, he looks down at me, he shouldn't care about this. "It doesn't hurt anymore." I say simply before laying back down underneath him. He wraps his arms around my waist and hugs. "You deserve so much better then him. You're safe with me." He kisses my cheek gently before kissing me down my neck. I hook my leg around him as he continues to kiss down my body, safe for how long? A week? He has no power to get me out of this marriage even if I could stay here. "I love you so much." He whispers into my ear and I run my hand through his hair gently. I cant say the same thing back to him. Not anymore.