Behind The Scenes

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ᴀ ʜᴏᴀx, ɪꜱ ᴀʟʟ ɪᴛ ɪꜱ

One Year later......

Third person POV
(Shraddha's apartment)

"Ma'am it was finalized in the contract. You can't just disagree with the contract and stop my payment. Yes, I understand that you still haven't invested in the next film, but that's the next film. It would be really appreciated, if you pay the actors of this film first. Siddharth has been paid, Ritesh has been paid. I don't understand the point of not paying me. According to the contract, your production team was supposed to pay me 2 months ago. I have waited a long time and I would have appreciated if your team was a bit more professional and punctual. I will be expecting my payment in, by tonight."

Shraddha walked around her apartment, frustrated. She has had a lot on her mind lately. Everything is all over the place for her. One year has passed since her fame hit her. Even though it is a dream come true for her, she feels very tired. She has been working non stop for the past one year, with only weekends off and sometimes not even that.

"Yes, the skin care appointment. Yes Nikita, of course I remember. No I don't have eye-bags under my eyes. Yes, I did sleep. The garment check is when! What? You said it was tomorrow? Nikita, how am I supposed to appear at 4 different places in the same day? And that too in a span of 8 hours! Yes, okay I'll be there."

Every day seemed to be more complicated and more hectic than the previous one. The lack of sleep Shraddha has gone through, is serious enough to call it insomnia. She can't sleep at nights, all she does is think about her job. "When is the next schedule starting?" "When is the next interview?" "Do we have awards coming?" "Am I keeping up with my diet?" "Has the hate increased? Will it keep on increasing or will it stop?" "How's my script reciting going?" "Was today's workout good enough?"

All these thoughts occur and then keep on reoccurring in her mind, regardless of the time. Regardless of the hard work she puts in every day. Her brain does not consider the fact, that energy needs to be created. It stays awake all night as the sleep slips away from her eyes.

When a person has difficulty falling asleep? They will do anything and everything to make that happen. Some people start substance abuse, while some go alcohol dependent. Being an actor you can't use any of these methods, unless you want to ruin your career.

So what did Shraddha do? She chose to start taking sleeping pills. It was fine for a while, but soon she got addicted to it. Her conscience wouldn't let her close her eyes, before having a pill down her throat.

She felt cold at night, not because her AC temperature was too low, but because she felt like something lacked in her life.

She had everything, a good house, a good job and a good income. She would even visit her family. But she still felt empty and dark inside. There was no one to hold her, when she stared into the darkness for hours and hours. Some days it would only be insomnia, those were the lucky days.

The worst began, when she would have panic attacks in the middle of the night. Breath faltering, a prickling sensation taking over her her skin, it felt like needles. Hundreds of tiny sharp needles pricking her skin until she couldn't bear the pain and fell limp.

Those were the times she felt the most lonely. Those were the times where she wished, she still was a little kid who could run to sleep and snuggle next to her mother. Those were the times which taught her, a hug could do wonders.