Retribution ★ Avengers

To my loyal readers..

So, I've been reading through A LOT of comments lately. Of course, all of them have to do with Steve and Marlena's relationship. Most of them are entertaining. It's very fun to see how invested and passionate a lot of you are in the story, but some of you are being kind of mean. Every last one of you are entitled to your own opinions, and I respect the hell out of them. However, I'm entitled to my own as well and for some reason feel the need to defend the characters I've spent the last five years loving as my own, ESPECIALLY Marlena, who I've become very connected with over the last five years. Some of you are saying how selfish she is for getting with Steve after Bucky's disappearance/apparent death. Some of you are saying she never really loved Bucky. Some of you are even convinced Marlena doesn't really love Steve and is only with him because he was there for five years. Some of you are even slut-shaming Marlena for moving on with Steve, and that's a major yikes. Believe me, I understand your perspectives and it's so interesting for me to go through and study the comments, but I have a few comments of my own to make.

First and foremost, I understand the controversy surrounding Marlena's relationship with Steve regarding his incredibly close friendship with Bucky. A lot of people, including my own husband who listens to me blabber about my works, think Marlena was wrong to pursue a relationship with her deceased husband's best friend. I respect your perspectives, and when writing the story I made sure not to ignore that perspective, because it IS important. Marlena faces a lot of guilt over her feelings due to Bucky's friendship with Steve. Her guilt is what prevents her from originally pursuing the relationship to begin with. Steve didn't actively pursue or even attempt a relationship with Marlena during those five years because of his friendship with Bucky. It isn't until Marlena finally gives in to her feelings and tames her guilt that the relationship begins. After years of dealing with the loss of her family and friends, she decides to accept her truth and focus on being happy inside a life that's brought her so much sorrow. She is not selfish for wanting a happy life for herself. She is not selfish for putting herself and her feelings first for once when throughout the series she has been shown to do the complete opposite and focus her actions on taking care of her family and friends. Let's not forget that although the readers knew Bucky and the remainder of Marlena's family would be coming back, Marlena did not know. To her, they'd all died, and after five long years she was certain they wouldn't be returning. She allowed herself to move on without the knowledge her family would return, and that's simply not her fault.

For those of you who believe Marlena never loved Bucky because of her relationship with Steve, I'm here to tell you you're wrong. Marlena loved Bucky with everything in her. They were soulmates, and a life with him was the only life she ever wanted and dreamed of. She never anticipated losing him. Had he not disappeared, Bucky and Marlena would have continued their lives together happily until "death do us part." Even after his disappearance, Marlena did not stop loving Bucky. He was/is the father of her children and the love of her life. She simply could not hold on to her romantic feelings for him as the years passed, though her love for him and the impact he had on her life would never and will never falter.

For those of you who don't think Marlena truly loves Steve, I'm here to tell you you're wrong. From the moment the two met, they've been best friends. They've been each other's shoulder to cry on and each other's closest confidants multiple times. After losing her family, Marlena clings to Steve because he is a major source of comfort and familiarity for her, not just consciously but subconsciously as well. Don't forget Marlena spent her entire life listening to stories about Steve and Bucky. He meant something to her long before they'd even met, and their eventual friendship only amplified what she already felt, same as it was with Bucky. When Marlena lost Bucky, as well as the rest of her family, she broke. Steve was there for her through the worst of that grief. He witnessed her at the lowest point in her life and made sure she wasn't alone in it. He brought her comfort and happiness during a time she never thought she'd experience either again. When she thought she couldn't get through the pain, he made sure she knew she could. He was patient. He supported her and encouraged her on her journey to healing, even if sometimes she didn't want him to. He never gave up on her and was a friend to her above all else. Her love for him is genuine and always will be. Steve is her peace. I will be the first to admit Marlena will never love anyone the way she loved Bucky, but that doesn't mean she does not love Steve. The dynamics inside both relationships are completely different, but they work for each specific relationship. Marlena loves the hell out of both these men, and there's no question about it.

Now, I absolutely love love love reading y'all's comments and watching each other discuss your different perspectives and opinions, but I don't like the mean comments. I personally love Marlena and Steve's relationship, as it is not only very different from the original foundation of the series, but it was also a major risk I originally wasn't sure I wanted to take due to potential backlash from readers. I refrained from publishing for a while because of how afraid I was no one would want to read it, but I had to stop and tell myself that although my readers are very influential to my writing, I also write for myself and because I love writing. If there's something I want to write and feel strongly about writing, I intend to write it, and Marlena's relationship with Steve was that for me. I've gone through so many emotions writing this story and trying to make it something people will like. I miss the hell out of Bucklena, but Steve and Marlena have been a guilty pleasure of mine since I started writing the very first book, and I needed to make that connection happen for me and for the story or I would've regretted it. I will always be here silently reading over your comments. Know that your opinions and perspectives will always be respected by me and you're welcome to comment them all you want. However, I simply ask that some of you refrain from posting mean comments simply because you do not like what's happening in the story, and if you do not like the story, please do not read the story. I only wrote this because I love the character(s) I've created and have connected with these characters in such a way even I don't understand, and reading mean comments about the way their stories have evolved often makes me hesitant to publish anything further. 

I truly do love you guys so much. Your support and your comments/votes/reads are so appreciated Thanks for reading my silly rant.

ALSO, if any of you have any ideas for what you'd like me to write or what you'd like to happen before the end of the story, comment and let me know. If you need a Bucklena moment, I will definitely be open to giving that to you.