Even if You're With Him ✔

Chapter 22

Taehyung stands frozen when he hears his name. "Taehyung, its you," Seokjin says once again.

Taehyung turns to look at him slowly and once he sees his eyes are still droopy he knows that Seokjin is still under the influence of drugs and most likely won't remember any of this. Its risky to stay and hope he forgets, but all he wants is one last night with him.

"I've missed you," Seokjin says sleepily, "I hate how much I miss you. I've needed you the past several months, but you weren't here." His words cut through him and his stomach churns at the thought of Seokjin having to go through the stress of pregnancy and grief alone.

"You have every right to be mad, Seokjin. I know I left when you needed me the most, but I swear I've always been here with you. Looking over you."

Seokjin rolls his eyes and Tehyung smiles seeing that fiery attitude the other has, even though he's mentally gone, is still there. "I am so tired of people saying that to me. 'He may not be here physically, but you will always have him in spirit' and the worse one 'you have an angel watching over you'," Seokjin mimmicks. "That last one is bullshit. I'm pretty sure they would take it back immediately if they knew what we did behind closed doors. You were anything but an angel."

Taehyung bites back a laugh, enjoying that his last moments with Seokjin are not filled with tears but with the joy he feels when nonsense comes out of Seokjin's mouth. "If you were alive and really here with me I would tell you to go fuck yourself for leaving me," Seokjin slurs, "but I also know that if you were alive there would be no need for that since you would never leave me willingly," his voice goes soft.

Taehyung walks back to his bedside and holds Seokjin's hands, "I swear it feels like you are actually here," Seokjin whispers as he stares at their intertwined fingers.

Taehyung brings their conjoined hands to his lips and kisses them lightly. "That is because I am. I will always be here. I love you Seokjin, and you have made me the happiest man to ever walk this Earth, just by loving me. You have every right to hate me when I come back, but I promise with everything I have; everything I am that I will spend the rest of my life making up for the lost time."

With his other hand Seokjin reaches for Taehyung's face and brings their foreheads together. "How I wish you were actually here right now, so I can tell you I hate you for dying, but also to thank you for loving me the way that you did. Thank you for giving me one last piece of you to hold on to forever. She will always know who her real dad is. She will grow up knowing how your love saved us. Letting go is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but seeing you here might be the closure I needed. I think I can finally move on with my life."

The thought of Seokjin moving on clenches at his heart and the tightness refuses to go down. He wants to tell him to wait, a force within him is trying to claw its way out and tell Seokjin this is not a figment of his imagination. That he's really here with him and their daughter, but looking into those doe eyes, he sees a glimpse of all the pain Seokjin has had to endure. He realizes that begging him to wait for him, would be trapping him. It would make him selfish and it will only keep causing Seokjin pain. 

Instead of repeating everything he has been saying all day, he leans in and captures his soft, plump lips. He kisses him with all the passion he can muster, not wanting to forget the way their mouths move against each other. Its lazy and a little bit sloppy due to Seokjin's groggy state, but its still perfect. "Please stay," the other whispers when they pull away.

Taehyung scoots Seokjin over and lays next to him, and places Seokjin's head on his chest. "The nurse will be here soon for Dasom," he whispers in Seokjin's hair.

"Dasom?" Seokjin questions sleepily already starting to succumb to the effects of the drugs once again.

"You will most likely name her something different. I just wanted to give her a temporary name before I left. It means love and we both are witness to how she was made with so much love." Seokjin lightly nods as he drifts off.