Time Travel

The argument

Clarke POV

I made my way back to Arkadia, my head hung low, my cheeks still wet and fragile with the tears that once lay there. I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout, but nothing came out- nothing but a single, small tear that moved painfully slow down my face. I looked up so the guards could identify me and at once they opened the gate. I cherished the last bit of 'freedom' I had . I walked inside, my head held up high. After all, I am the leader and I should probably act as one. "A warrior doesn't mourn the dead till the war is over." I chanted the words around my head like a mantra begging myself to be strong- at least till I'm alone. 

However, as soon as people started to crowd around I began to wish that I wasn't a leader that had duties and looks to fufil, I wanted to stare back at the floor and cry till I could no longer, but I remained stoic instead. I learnt from the best, I mused to myself.

I was met with pitiful glares and broken smiles.
I soon realised no one wished to approach me, never mind comfort me- I cant blame them though as they didnt know of the nature of Lexa and I's relationship. Well no one save Raven and Octavia.

I walked a brisk pace towards my room and as soon as I heard the click of the knob alerting me the door was locked, I slid my back against the door and cradled myself, with my knees tucked into my chest and arms wrapped tighly around them. 

What time was it? I had been in the same position for so long that my limbs had turned cold and I could no longer feel them. I managed to prise myself from the position I was in and practically dragged myself down the hallway to get some water. My throat was raw after all that screaming and sobbing and I could only hope no one had heard. Once again, I kept my pace brisk-as one could,limping- and my face devoid of any emotion. Finally, I located some water and found myself adjacent to my door when I heard a voice.

"God Griffin, you look worse than Lexa and she's dead the last I checked." The brunette had to bite her lip to supress any laughter but a grin managed to creep its way up her mouth. I was horrified. Normally Raven was so kind and caring towards me but this was a whole new story.

"Raven, as much as I would like to beat you to a pulp right now, Im exhausted both mentally and physically ok? So just leave me in peace." I managed to speak ,in a tone similar to Lexa's when she wished to dismiss someone- though my voice was much more croaky. With that, I entered my room and shut the door behind me.

I could hear my breaths increasingly get more shallow. My fists clenched so tightly my knuckles had began to turn white. Before I could lay on my bed, Raven barged in.

"Dam Griffin, whats up your arse?" I gritted my teeth together and slowly exhaled, wishing that the air I could so easily dissmiss was Raven. I couldn't bare to even think of what to say to that so I glared at her hoping she knew she had crossed a line. 

"Anywayyyy miss grumpy, Bellamy went missing, he hasn't left a note or anything and the last time anyone had saw him was hours ago- when there was still daylight."

I had enough. I had enough of people pretending nothing happened and how they expected me to be their flawless leader again. I had enough.
Not this time I thought to myself. I channeled all my anger and finally stood my ground. 

"Seriously Raven? Lexa died yesterday, the girl I loved died in my arms and do you know how she used her last couple of breaths? She reassured me and told me to be strong. She kissed me with her final breath ".I felt tears burning the back of my eyes -begging to be let loose, but I refused. 

Raven let out a hearty laugh, one that echoed off of the bare walls. 

" Do you know what she also did ? She killed Finn!" Raven said choking back tears

Now it was my time to laugh- something I hadn't done since Lexa died. I threw my head back and let out the most hearty of a laugh I could. 

" Really Raven? Your said all that about Lexa because of Finn? I loved him too. But in the end he was a lying cheat and ontop of that, he massacred a whole village of innocents! He deserved it Rae. "