Bad Decisions - Alex Turner

Epilogue

Alex Turner was once again a stranger in a familiar city.

Salt and sugar stars fell over the glimmering rooftops of the lively buildings of Paris. Muffled cheers echoed down the bustling backstage corridors of a performance arena. The multitoned voices of hundreds of adorers seeped back through closed curtains that led to a stage designed for idolisation.

   The night was like any other—for a world renowned musician at least. One show of many more eagerly waiting like a patient animal for its food to be served and devoured. Mirroring the voices heard further within the belly of the building, the coveted backstage rooms were cluttered with chatter bouncing off each wall and ricocheting into laughter.

  Alex's company consisted of old friends, native strangers, alcoholic beverages and starving thoughts that began to eat away at his mind. Bite by bite. A fidgeting demeanour consumed him. Unlike his state of being all those years ago, he found alcohol absent in his system. It's blissful ability to numb one's mind, body and soul evading his reality by choice.

Hearty conversations faded into his eardrums as nothing more than a blur, a blend of tones he wasn't able to decipher anything intelligent from. Sitting against a deep brown, plush seat, he found himself overwhelmed by a familiar experience. It was that of self imposed isolation in a room filled to the brim with people. Not even the gentle fabric against his back, supporting his recline could create him any kind of comfort.

The man abruptly stood to his feet, glossy polished shoes peeking out from beneath deep brown pants that hugged him from his waist. "I'm going out back for a smoke," he muttered to the old friends that made up his surrounding company.

Receiving nods and the odd concerned stare, he allowed those glossy shoes to guide him down a series of slim rooms until his cold hands landed upon a push-door. As the wooden hunk moved with his force of muscle, a cool spring breeze washed over his cheeks. The smell of grass, sprinkler water and cleaned concrete striking his nostrils as he sauntered away from the towering building soon to beckon him to return.

Despite the knowledge that he didn't have time at his disposal, he found his feet carrying him further and further away from the responsibilities of stardom. It was though, with each step that echoed out into the plane around him, the clouds fogging his mind began to break away and release the pressure in his cranium.

As he reached the edge of the backstage parking lot his stride began to slow. His feet deciding his place of rest. He then proceeded into a habit he never found the strength to give up. The tailored stick of tobacco finding his lips in an automatic act of addiction.

Waving a stoic orange flame, Alex browned the white tip and allowed the dark smoke to creep down his throat, flushing into his airways and polluting his body even after he'd exhaled it all out into a wisp of white that danced to be disappeared into the air. His heavy eyes followed that stream as it dissolved into the night sky and soon he found himself trapped beneath it.

A thousand possibilities showered down upon him. The cosmos crashing into a billion tiny fragments that twinkled in fixed positions for as long as he lived. One word would always come to his mind when his eyes devoured that noir sky. One word that inspired him more than the glimmering crescent moon that brought him closer to it.

It was then that his eyes guided him to a constellation he'd memorised for the rest of his life. No longer did he need his outstretched pointer to join the dots. His memory did it all. Upon realising the patch of stars he'd allowed himself to become entrapped by, he let out a sigh and closed his eyes momentarily.

She was still out there. Even if she felt as far away as those twinkling stars that wrote her into the universe. He knew, within a moment of his eyes finding her before anyone else, that his arms would always be open to welcome her back if she ever desired. Willing to wait until those very stars fell from the sky, eternity no longer felt so far to wait if she was on the other side.