What Anxiety Feels Like (DNF/ Dream not found angst)

I Feel My Body Shaking

From the second George woke up, he knew. He knew that it was going to be another bad day.

Just how bad it was going to be, he did not know yet. But the second he woke up he could feel his heart about to burst. He felt the way his hands trembled even when he wasn't nervous about anything. He wasn't able to eat breakfast because everything seemed too hard to handle.

He spent the whole day on edge. Every slight thing would almost set him off. He decided to not play or stream today. He just couldn't risk it.

He was even ignoring his friends. George just didn't know if even texting, as simple as it is, it would trigger an attack.

The main person that kept trying was Dream. It was unusually for George to ignore him so he just kept texting. He wasn't pressuring him to answer, just constantly texting him about ideas or minor inconveniences in his daily life.

George was sitting in his living room. He had nothing on. He wasn't watching tv or listening to music. He was just staring at the floor.

He got flashbacks from when he was younger. From when he would sit in his room while his family lived their lives normally outside. He would sit in the dark curled up in the corner of his room waiting for the daunting feeling to leave.

No one would come in. No one would help him. No on would care. It didn't really bother him. Just taught him to keep it to himself.

He was taken out of his thoughts by his phone ringing. He was ready to ignore but saw that is was Dream again.

His heart picked up slightly. However, for once, It was not in a bad way. Pushing it aside he picked up before he even remembered he was supposed to ignore it.

"GEORGE! thank god I've been trying to get a hold of you all day. How are you?" Dreams voice was as energized as ever but also had a softness to it. George couldn't help but smile slightly. But at the same time- why the hell did he pick up??

"um yeah I am fine Dream just tired. Anyway, what do you need?" George quickly tried to change the subject from his well being. Dream noticed but went along with it.

"I just missed you that's all. My day isn't complete without you" His voice was soft and quite. He could tell that he really meant it. Dream's checks immediately heated up and he honestly forgot that he wasn't supposed to be like this off of stream.

"it's been one day Dream you'll live" George also was a shade of red. His heart was pounding but for once he didn't mind. They flirt like this all the time but it wasn't for an audience this time.

"doubt it but ANYWAY! I was going to ask you to join a game. A few of us want to play and I didn't want you to miss out" George sat silently for a minute. He knew he shouldn't it was too much, way too risky today.

On the other hand, Dream did make him feel better. Maybe he'll be able to ignore the feeling better with a distraction. So, he decided "You know what Dream sure. But I might leave randomly to sleep"

"yes yes yes yessssss! sure Ill leave you to sleep after. Now common we are starting soon" Dream got way more excited than he cared to admit. He knew that George was down so was hoping this would help him.

"fine but no face cam" George thought about the risks of him panicking on camera and decided that was for the best.

"whatttttttt but I want to see you" Dream spoke before he really thought and turned red again.

"mhm sure but sorry not today" George brushed off the way that made him feel yet again. "ok I have to go. I am going to set up"

"ok Goergieee see you- well talk to you soon" They both hung up and a warm smile rested on both of their faces.

A few seconds later dread filled George. He was so distracted by Dream that he forget he was supposed to shut everyone out.

The heavy feeling returned to his chest that he was fighting all day. It was going to be a hard new few hours.

He just hoped nothing would go wrong.

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