warnings ⚠️; self harm (please don't read if this makes you uncomfortable, hotlines are also at the bottom of this), and light swearing
date; started; 03/07/21 - published; ?
summary; inspired by the amazing cover by our grammy preforming artist harry...(proud of you hazza for preforming at the grammys i'm beyond excited)
set; 2011
harry's pov
I woke up to my phone vibrating, it's around 4:13 am, it's a bunch of messages from the group chat.
I heard Simon talking to Louis about his girlfriend a few days ago, it hurt knowing since i have a massive crush on him. Just like the stubborn teenager i am i shut everyone out.
Louis is the only one who doesn't know about this being in love with your best friend thing, so closing out all the guys means i'm less likely to get hurt.
I grab my phone and unlock it, my wallpaper is of Louis and I, he was kissing my cheek, and i was blushing like an idiot. Now he's going to be doing that with someone else.
I wipe the few salty tears that fall onto my light pink cheeks.
I open the messages app and click on the group chat.
Liam; harry mate, talk to us it's been 5 days..
Niall; Lou is getting worried
Louis; I'm in the group chat ya know' but seriously haz talk to us or at least me..
Zayn; Mate, if you don't we are going to force you out of your bunk.
I take a deep and shaky breath, I swipe out of messages and open safari and google 'Louis and Eleanor.' the articles are everything i've ever wanted to see.
Except for the fact it isn't my name.
'New Upcoming Couple, Eleanor and Louis Tomlinson'
'One Direction's Boyband Member Louis Tomlinson Has a New Girlfriend'
'We Couldn't Be Happier for Louis Tomlinson and New Love Interest'
I didn't even realize how loud I was being, the pressure and water building up in my eyes, thankfully the guys are out at a party.
They invited me, i didn't respond, i can't even look at Louis.. or any of them really. I don't need help from them though, i can help myself.
I cough a bit from the intense crying session i just had as I roll to sit up in the bed and head to the bathroom.
It's a cramp spot but it's actually peaceful, it has a faint scent of bleach and Louis' bittersweet cologne.
I sit on the ground and rest my chin on my knees. I look around and my eyes wander to the razor box that we all use to shave.
I start to reach for it and quickly jerk my hand back. I won't stoop that low, Louis can't affect me that much, can he?
Guess he can.. As i sit here, the dark red color covering the blade, my right arm twitching from the sting and the 7 fresh cuts on my arm. It felt good, each slash felt like Louis was here hugging me.
I hear a knock on the bathroom door and quickly bolt up from my seated position.
"Hey haz you in here?" I hear Niall ask.
I'm not out of it enough to quickly lock the door, knowing they will try to get in. I rush over to the sink and begin scrubbing at my arm, holding back the screams of pain i'm enduring right now.
