Play No More (Player Next Door sequel) ✓

79 | Abandoned

Thank you @caitlinread.x for your artwork! I couldn't decide between the two so I had to post both :)   

Chapter 79: Abandoned

There is a broken record in my bedroom that reflects the remnants of a home invasion. In a way, my family life has shattered in a similar way.

Maybe there is no perfect life out there, but mine is not even a contender right now.

I carry with me abandonment issues that hurt my current relationship. I know that now. My insecurities paralyze me sometimes. They've been put under a magnifying glass, especially after I started dating someone in the spotlight. Metaphorically, speaking.

I tried to process what was happening. I tried to unsee my mom standing outside the same house I thought she abandoned.

I looked away from the window to my boyfriend at the center of attention. The crowd directed their applause at him.

His hair was so dark against the backdrop of the white fireplace behind him. He was tall, standing there with his hand in his pocket. Luke has a strong presence, thanks to his muscular build, visible even under his clothes. I tried not to think of what was under his clothes...

He cleared his throat and his voice carried across the room, deep and raw, and entirely unwilling to be here:

"Thanks for coming. I missed my eighth birthday party, so I'm glad to relive that lost time today."

The crowd laughed more than his mother, who had spent the time blowing up blue balloons and preparing the basketball themed party-food today.

"That's right. He missed the party because he had a game that day," Mr Dawson commented, swerving back into a speech of athleticism and praise.

The speech droned on, describing a future of accomplishments, like it was a roadmap everyone was so sure Luke would breeze through.

Luke resented that. He's made it look like a breeze so far – if you don't look beyond the scoreboards and attitude.

"Are you ok?" Jake whispered to me, "You looked like you saw a ghost and now you're smiling. It's creepy."

Jake brought me back to my reality. I didn't know how long my mom would be standing outside my house before she'd disappear again. What if she was coming back to pick up the last of her things? Would I ever see her again?

I never saw my dad again.

Would Luke notice if I left now? I'm trying to support him, but my life is falling apart. What is my life plan? When my family is gone, how can I look after myself?

"I need to go," I whispered, hearing my voice, though not registering the movements my mouth must've made to say it.

"What do you-" Jake tried to convince me to stay, but I was insistent.

I didn't want to make a scene and neither did he. He didn't understand but accepted that I had to leave.

I looked beyond Jake, at my boyfriend who was accepting a slice of congratulatory cake as if he was that cute eight-year-old kid. I saw his blue eyes glance across the room, and I knew he was looking for me. I looked away before he could find me.

**

Leaving the party brought me back to reality.

I saw her - my mother - wrapped in a dark purple coat that reached her knees. She was standing at the front door in black boots with a black purse slung over her shoulder.

My mind battled two different instincts. Part of me wanted to run into her arms and be cradled like a scared child. The other part wanted me to vent my frustration, my anger and disappointment at what she'd done.