𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍─𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞²

49. the awakening

"So should we wake the others?" Jordan wondered, pulling my attention away from the new planet in front of us. "Show them what dad found?"

Untangling myself from Bellamy, I turned to Monty and Harper's son with a small nod. "Yeah, we'll wake just a small group for now. Once we know what we're doing, we can wake the others."

Jordan gave a small nod as Bellamy turned, hastily wiping his teary face as he spoke. "Jordan, just give us a minute. Then we'll wake them."

"Yeah." Jordan whispered, knowing Bellamy and I needed a moment to discuss some things alone. "I'll wait for you guys in the hallway."

I gave him a small smile as he turned and made his leave. I felt horrible for him as I watched him go, but I promised myself right then and there that I would take care of him like Harper had asked-even if he was technically older than me...kind of?

Once Jordan has disappeared from view, I turned back to Bellamy. My arms were crossed tightly against my chest as I looked back toward the Earth. "Monty and Harper saved us." I mumbled, still processing the fact that they were really gone.

Bellamy nodded as he let out a sad sigh. "We'll make them proud."

A sad smile played on my lips as I looked up at him, watching as his face twitched with sadness. He was hurting too. 

"Things are about to become hectic." he finally whispered, pulling his eyes away from the outside to look at me. "I want to talk to you before they do."

My head tilted in confusion slightly, "Okay." I nodded. "Anything."

Letting out a small breath, Bellamy reached out and lightly touched the ring that hung off a necklace chain around my neck. The ring he had given me on the Ring, the one that essentially bound us together. 

"I just need you to know why I did what I did when we were on the Ring. Why I hurt you so badly." he mumbled, his eyes flickering up to mine. 

I pressed my lips together, shaking my head. "You don't have to." I assured. "That's something of the past, 125 years to be exact." I grinned, trying to bring light to the situation. 

"Ave," he muttered, not entirely amused. "I'm serious."

"Okay." I conceded, the grin fading from my expression. "I'm listening."

He dipped his head slightly. "I felt hopeless that we were still in space after six years. And part of me felt useless, not being able to do anything to get us down." he sucked in a quick breath. "I don't know, I guess I felt like I didn't deserve you in that moment, so I pushed you away."

I registered every word he said, and part of me was grateful that he had never really stopped loving me. But the other part of me felt dejected that he hadn't shared these feelings with me when they happened. After all we had been through, he should have been able to talk to me. 

"You know you can tell me anything." I said softly. "I won't ever think what you're saying is stupid, or unfounded, or a worthless thought." When his eyes moved to meet mine, I gave him a comforting smile. "But, if we're going to make this work again, you need to trust me enough to tell me what's wrong...not just push me away."

A look of shame covered Bellamy's face as he nodded. "You're right." he agreed. "And I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." I assured. "It's in the past. So now, we move on and we do better."

A smile cracked across his face as he chuckled. "You're too good for me." 

I grinned, shrugging as if to be nonchalant. "So I've been told."