Nightmare | Dream ✔️

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢 𝙾𝚗𝚎

I sit on the sofa, both Clay and I sitting silently as we look at each other. There is only silence surrounding the two of us as we stay like this for a few minutes but finally Clay breaks it and takes a deep breath so he can be the first of us to speak.

"River," Clay says my name softly and I meet his bright green eyes which always seemed to be filled with joy, now looking different. He looks stressed and if anything he looks a mess above all. He looks like he hasn't been able to sleep at all which really isn't healthy for him but then again, I don't have any room to talk. I haven't been able to sleep properly since we broke up because it just doesn't feel right because I just missed him. "River, I am so sorry." He apologizes and I want to ask him for what. For breaking up with me over the phone? For him acting so distant before I left to go overseas? For him thinking that this wasn't going to hurt me? "For everything, I'm sorry for everything." He corrects himself as if he was reading my thoughts and I drag my hands across the fabric of the sofa which we had picked out when Clay and I had gone shopping to redo the whole apartment.

"Why did you," I go to ask the question quietly because he said when he did it, when he broke up with me, that he couldn't tell me why he had broken up with me a month ago. I didn't want to be left in the dark anymore, I want to know why. He gives me a small guilty look and glances at my phone that is on the table.

"It's pretty much everywhere," Clay tells me and I shake my head lightly because I have no idea what he is talking about. "It was trending for days," He says softly as if the thought hurts a little and I shake my head lightly because I haven't been on any of my accounts on pretty much anything ever since I had started going on trips with Gray.

"I haven't been on any socials for a while," I tell him quietly, both of our voices staying silent as if we spoke too loud then something would go wrong. In truth, I have been scared to go online and try to do anything that involves my life on any social media because I really don't want to get attacked by anyone's fans and I didn't want to, at the time, know what was going on with Clay because it would hurt my heart.

"Oh," Clay says seeming to suddenly get why I haven't been online or even paying too much attention to those sorts of things because the Minecraft community can get pretty toxic which sucks but we can't really do anything about it except tell our communities to knock it off.

"Hi Patches, love." I whisper with a small smile as the kitten crawls onto my chest, clearly trying to make me feel better and that's only when I realize that there are tears on my face and in my eyes.

"She really missed you." Clay tells me before clearing his throat a little bit and I hold Patches a little closer to my chest as I look back to him. "I," He seems to search for the words that he wants to say but is struggling to find them. "I really messed up," He settles on finally and I just look back at him, taking my eyes off of the kitten. "I really messed up." He says softer to himself before he looks back up at me and Patches with a little painful smile. "River, I broke up with you for such a stupid reason." He tells me and I look down at Patches as she puts her paw on my face. "My ex was trying to step back into my life and she was threatening to show my face to the world and I didn't want you to have to deal with that stress," Clay goes on and I make a small confused face. He could have told me that. "I thought at the time that it was smart but then it wasn't," He rambles on as his eyes travel back to the floor. "Nick and Will yelled at me for a while." Clay laughs weakly as if thinking about it was painful for him and he finally looks back up at me. "And it took me a lot to call you after I had saw you on the news," He says, looking at me and then the television, and I know that he is talking about the article that had gone on about Grayson and I when we went shopping together. "But I am really sorry and I never meant to hurt you and I love you." Clay finishes what he was saying and meets my eyes again with a painful smile.

"I love you too." I whisper after a second. I know I love him and yes, he hurt me but I know that I have hurt him before because I got scared and ran away. He stands up and moves over to sit next to me on the sofa rather then the seat that he had been sitting on a few seconds ago. "Start over?" I ask him because I am willing too if he is because we are together. We are a team and we are going to have to work through all of this together.

"Start over," He agrees and looks at me again. I lean over and he puts a hand on the back on small of my back as our lips connect, Patches jumping away from the two of us as I move to him and wrap my legs around his waist. "I love you." He repeats, before deepening the kiss.