Chapter 34

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Zoey

Van led the way through the woods until we were out of hearing from the house. I knew it was more distance than probably necessary, but he'd said he wanted me to be comfortable. He must have forgotten about the part where I might have to strip in front of him. Good thing I'd brought an extra set of clothes with me...

We reached a clearing with a small pond dotted with lotus flowers. Van ran a quick lap to ensure no one had followed us or was hiding out ahead of us. That gave me a minute to think about what was coming next. By the time he got back, I'd wrapped my arms around my waist in a hint of self-preservation.

Van placed his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. "It's going to be all right, Zoey. I'll be right here with you, and I'll talk you thought it. I won't let you hurt yourself."

I forced myself to nod and meet his gaze. "You can't blame me for being nervous after what happened last time."

"Last time," he jumped in as soon as I finished, "I made you feel like you had to shift to be worth anything. This time, you're not proving anything to anyone."

I nodded again, seeing in his eyes that he did regret what he'd said that had driven me to a forced shift. Knowing that he was trying to make up for it now and that he'd coached lots of albeit younger wolves before, I wasn't terrified of trying to shift again. He'd stop me if he thought I was in danger of hurting myself.

"We'll go as slow as you need, but slower shifts often are more painful. It'll be up to you to determine how much pain you endure."

"It can't be more painful than last time," I reminded him, "so I think I'll be fine."

He nodded and took a step back. "I'm assuming that your backpack has extra clothes because you don't intend to..."

"... to completely strip in front of you?" I finished for him when he hesitated. "You'd be correct. It may be completely normal for you, but I haven't been around anyone shifting in years. Pardon me for being a bit prudish."

"As long as you're at east, I don't care what you do. I'd rather have you shred an outfit than hurt yourself because you're uncomfortable."

I set the backpack I'd brought at the base of a tree and slipped my shoes off. I'd at least planned a little, so I'd put on a sports bra and short exercise shorts earlier. It would provide me a little modesty without interfering with the shift.

Van kept his mouth shut and gaze politely diverted as I squirmed out of my outer clothes and neatly arranged them by my backpack. I pulled a blanket out and spread it over all of my stuff. There would be a few seconds after I shifted when I wouldn't have the coverage I did now, so I'd try to get Van to cover me before I finished shifting back... if I made it that far.

"I supposed I'll have to face this sooner or later," I sighed, turning away from my backpack. "No matter how this goes, thank you in advance for your guidance."

Van crossed his arms and leaned against a nearby tree. "You sound like you expect to fail. That attitude won't help you. If you're doubtful, it will only hurt more."

"Are you trying to scare me out of doing this?" I moaned. "If that's your goal, you are very close to succeeding."

"I'm sorry," he blurted out, leaping forward as I reached for the blanket. "I'm trying to get you in the right frame of mind. Most people are excited – eager – to shift, so they're already in a positive mood. With you..."

"Then help me think of the positive! Like... conquering this is one step closer to being a normal wolf again. I'll be stronger afterwards. I'll have greater self-confidence once I do this."

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