home (reader at hogwarts)

fourteen

the next few weeks fly by. they continue to consist only of breakfast with severus and the regular visits from minerva if she's free.

severus begins to open up more as you spend more time with him and he even invites you to explore some of the secrets in the small house.

he teaches you the magical way of opening the door to the house- it is to use the phrase 'suscipme' and to hover one's hand above the handle.

it took quite a bit of energy from you to master, being a new witch and all, and you ended up slumped in the living room for the rest of the evening.

severus ends up switching with you, deciding to let you sleep in his bed whilst he sleeps on the sofa. that way he won't wake you if he wants to be downstairs whilst you rested.

he also probably realises it is the chivalrous thing to do, though severus hasn't ever had the time for chivalry.

severus has started to warm up, he even reads to you sometimes. you've always loved to read and have since you were smaller but the stories sounded so much grander and majestic when the words were being narrated by a soft, gentle but somehow baritone and strong voice.

he reads to you when you can't sleep, pretending that he does it for himself, that him deciding to sit in the chair in your bedroom is mere coincidence- but you know that severus is there to make sure nothing goes wrong.

because one night, something did go wrong.

you hallucinated your 'parents' coming to give you your daily injections and remembered crawling to the fireplace in a strange frenzy to get warm even though your temperature was soaring over the average body temperature of a witch your age.

you had gotten so close to the fireplace that it had burned a few of your baby hairs off, before severus had clambered up the stairs and swung your bedroom door open to find you on the floor.

he hurried you up away from the fire and collapsed with you on the floor. as you had breathed shakingly in his arms and mindlessly begged him in whispers to let you back to the fireplace-
you remember feeling his chest rise and fall with the utmost insecurity and fright.

you were this close to being hurt, on his watch.

sure, it would concern anyone.

but, it shook severus.

warming up to each other though, didn't come without its side effects. severus often made you his potions assistants, ordering you to fetch things for him as he continued to stir, cut or slice ingredients he needed.

anytime you refused or admitted you were too tired to help he'd answer the same way.

"it's not for me." he'd shrug. "i'm not the one who needs it."

sometimes though, you'd want to do get involved yourself, propping yourself up on the counter and watching.

severus did almost everything manually.

he'd say, "magic is only so accurate. i prefer to have full control."

and so you watched him do everything, learning bits and pieces as you pestered him with questions.

severus never raised his voice, but his voice could be scary enough when he told you to go away- when you had asked too many questions.

when the potion was finally done, it was a shock to your system.

you weren't getting ketamine and your body had gotten used to falling back into that other reality with mike and your mother- so used to it all that when the potion actually worked, and you slept peacefully for the first time in a month, you were sick for days straight and were stuck in bed.

you got used to it though and severus took care of you. you didn't need him as much as you thought because you had learnt a few spells to help clean up after yourself or change sick bowls by yourself.

"magic can drain. let me-" severus would try, but you'd get such a thrill from performing even the smallest of spells, that you would refuse.

tonight, on a more light hearted note, was the night before the last day before you started at hogwarts.

albus wrote to severus and yourself saying he would be at spinner's end for dinner this evening to discuss everything for the next year.

they knew that you knew what was going to happen.

they were yet to ask the all important questions.

"y/n."

severus calls for you as he strides into the living room and spots you sitting on his sofa/ make shift bed.

"hm?" you pull your eyes away from the tv and look at him.

"minerva's coming tomorrow," he says, sitting down beside you. "you'll have to wake up a little earlier because she'll arrive before albus."

"what time?" you ask, pulling your knees to your chest.

"um," his head tilts slightly. "i think she said 10."

"that's okay. i'll wake up at 9 so i can shower before she arrives."

severus nods.

you smile, looking down at the wand in your hand. "i've so gotten used to using this to quickly shower magically- gosh, i never thought i'd ever say that sentence."

"i bet you never thought you'd hold a wand, either?" severus chuckles.

"no." you say quietly, grinning wide.

"oh and about that wand-" severus says, turning to face you more. "you're getting a new one tomorrow."

"huh?" you say, crossing your eyebrows. "but, this one's fine."

"it isn't yours." severus reasons. "it didn't choose you."

you hum, understanding. you read in the books and understood that the wand chooses the wizard and that this wand- the wand that you've been using for a while, won't serve you like your own wand will.

"i get it." you say. "i've read that the wand chooses the wizard."

"exactly." severus says. "so, you'll get your own tomorrow."

the pair of you turn to look at the news and hear about the rainstorms that are set to come soon in the early days of the ninth month.

"rain, again." he grumbles. "a storm this time."

"my basement used to flood sometimes, you know." you tell him, thinking back to all the times the dirty water would reach to your knees and you'd have to sleep on the stairs.

"really?" severus asks, sounding just the slightest bit suprised.

you had told him some of your living conditions during your stay with him as the pair of you opened up to each other and he more or less was starting to understand how you were treated.

"yuhuh." you nod. "i'd scrunch up into a ball and sleep on the stairs."

"your parents didn't let you out?" asks severus.

"haha, nope." you laugh, an empty tired laugh. "the flood wasn't an excuse to be 'ungrateful'."

"merlin." severus breathes, looking down at you. "you're okay with me now, i hope? i'm a little improvement?"

you laugh again, fuller and happier this time. "yes. yes, you are severus."

"oh, good." he smirks, proud having fulfilled his achievement of making you laugh. "that's a relief."

"don't flatter yourself." you say, grabbing the pillow to your left and pushing it onto severus' lap.

"hey?" severus says and you look up at him. "get some rest."

"but-"

"no buts, y/n." he says, quickly. "you'll have to be up early tomorrow, okay? don't make me tell you again."

"fine." you huff, looking down.

severus pats your head with a large white hand and watched you stand to go upstairs.

"goodnight, y/n."

"goodnight, sev."