𝐀 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐔𝐬

𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈 - 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞/𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞

***

Oh love, never knew what I was missin'
But I knew once we start kissin', I found
Love, never knew what I was missin'
But I knew once we start kissin', I found, found you

***

March 20, '01
Yana

I sat on one end of the dinner table, facing my mother who was cooking in the kitchen, humming. I'd been studying her for about 20 minutes now and wondered what was going on in her head. Back home from school, Jalen walked in with a basketball under his arm, sweating and aggravated.

"What's wrong?," I asked him, surprised to see him look so serious.

"Nuffin'," he answered promptly. I frowned, since he usually talked to me about everything, even when I didn't ask him for anything.

He went to his room and dropped his basketball off there before he came back with a rant. "Niggas keep playin with my height like I won't violate. Can't even say anything else about me, that's why they dickridin' like that. Got my shit all in they mouf'."

Maji strolled casually into the living room, not even knowing the situation but hyping Jalen's anger up. "Damn right. Who we fightin'?"

"Raekwon, bro. He mad ayo bro. Stay on my body like he want me. You could fuck his bitch up and he won't even care."

"What is all this blasphemy I'm hearing in my home?," my mom asked from her spot in the kitchen, shaking her head.

"Ma, stay outta this," Jalen mumbled.

I watched as my mother and Maji turned to Jalen, thinking about if they'd heard him correctly. Yes, he'd told my mother to stay out of it. And, honestly, I knew where he was coming from.

Seizing control of the situation, I sent Jalen to his room and Maji to hers, successfully diffusing the situation. But my mother had something to say.

"Speaking to your elders like that, especially your mother, is ugly. And God don't like no ugly."

I tried to cut in before she continued her pitiful rant. "I always knew my baby boy would turn on me like this. Even James told me, without a father figure, he's gonna raise his hand to me one day. James or no James, though, that is the day Jesus will give me the strength of ten strong men, so I can raise my right hand over my shoulder and strike the devil off that poor boy's tongue."

"What?" I sighed, sick of her playing victim and failing to understand anything of what just happened. "Mama, look. First of all, Jesus can't give you superpowers, okay?"

"But did I say superpowers or strength? Jesus will give me the strength, if anything else."

"That's besides the point. I don't know if you've been around or aware for the last couple of years, but Jalen gets a lotta shit for being short and poor. He's insecure, that's his thing. He doens't mean to disrespect anyone in the moment and honestly, he was right. Stuff like that you do need to stay out of."

"Stay out of stuff? You all came out of me, but I have to stay out of your 'stuff'?"

I sighed out in frustration and tried to keep an even, respectful tone when answering her. "Ok, let's not act like you cared what happened in this house just a month ago. Because you didn't. Just like how you don't know Jalen's situation. Just like you never know anyone's problems."

"I was devoting my time to God so that he could help us all. I was pulling your weight, his weight, even Maji's weight. Not one of you prays. Not one of you goes to church. Not a single one of you does anything to deserve something from Him," she reprimanded me through gritted teeth, her index finger pointing up when she said "Him".