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Chapter Twenty-Five: A Frail State of Mind

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Chapter Twenty-Five: A Frail State of Mind

Warning: This chapter contains homophobia and harassment.

A freeze-frame, photograph. A bench, dark-wooded, in the middle of a green field, some trees in the background and a glimmer of the blue and clouded sky. On the bench, a girl sitting in between two boys. The girl, with long, brown hair, so soft it resembles silk, has her head rested on the boy to the right of her, a soft smile on her face. He – her boyfriend – looks relaxed, hair messy, t-shirt hanging loose on his figure – definitely the most natural in front of a camera. The other boy is loud, not in volume, but in sight. Bleached hair, because he always has to do something with it during the summer, his legs across the girl's lap, cuffed jeans, his head thrown back in a fit of laughter.

      It had been a summer's day, two years ago––Mina and Taehyung had just started dating. The four of them had spent the entire day walking through town, exploring the markets, buying little things such as jewellery or cards; boba and ice-cream to fight the heat. Then, they had ventured into the park, found a spot of their own and had spent the rest of the day even far into the evening, playing around, talking, laughing, Jeongguk photographing it all.

      It was the summer where everything started to change, the summer after sophomore year. Before that, it had only been the three of them: him, Taehyung and Jimin. They had lived in their very own bubble; they had done everything together. Gone out at night, stalked the streets, shouted at the sky in the middle of the grand parks, but mostly they had hung about in Jeongguk's house, sometimes playing video-games, or doing photo shoots, with artsy makeup and fashionable clothing. But then, suddenly, Taehyung grew an infatuation, and it infected their little group like a virus.

      Jeongguk had known it all along, of course. From the moment Taehyung's excited glint moved elsewhere; his gaze which usually fixated on him, as they stood next to each other in the hallway, but then suddenly started to shift to the girl walking by. He would talk about her all the time, about her beautiful long, brown hair, her luscious, pink lips, her pale skin yet dark eyes, like the real-life version of Snow White. It didn't take long for him to win her over. He was desirable after all, knowing him was desirable. Somehow, over the summer, without even being in school, they grew in popularity and by the time they came back, junior year, Taehyung was a sensation. He had always been someone of intrigue, what with his mother having a successful clothing brand, his father being a successful lawyer, but now, paired together with Myoui Mina, he was a star.

      At first, Jeongguk felt lucky that he was the one who was his friends, that he knew him better than anyone else, that he had what so many people wanted. But soon, that very blessing turned into a curse. Before, Taehyung had always chosen him first. But now, more and more of his time was devoted to other things, other people. While Jimin and Jeongguk tagged along, they were always more on the sidelines. He could feel people's resentment towards him, as he was closed off, not charming like Taehyung, and everyone knew about his trauma of course, about his father, so he never got elevated to the same level of admiration Taehyung received. People simply couldn't believe that the gorgeous Kim Taehyung would ever be friends with a loser like Jeon Jeongguk.

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