Un/Traditional ( dark mafia romance)

Make me proud.

Unedited.

Us humans are such fickle creature. Fickle and greedy. Greedy for love, friendship and warmth.

So fucking greedy that once we find any inkling of such emotions we cling on it for dear life.

I mean honestly aren't we all love hungry, attention seeking little piece of shit's who want just to be accepted by someone.

We are right?

But as far as humans go, I might just be the most fucked up. Because that is the only reason my mind can conjure for holding hands with a murderer and feeling warm inside due to it.

It wasn't the kind of warm that makes you go....... Oh he's so nice, I have butterflies in stomach feeling. I would have been okay, if this had been it. Some stupid crush kind of mushy feeling.

But no.

No. No. No.

It was something more sinister than that. Holding his hand felt like holding onto an untamed beast. Or maybe a bomb.

If this had been a cliche tv show or a book, the heroine would have felt some feeling for the untamed beast by now. But I couldn't. This warmth was temporary but the cold was immortal. This wasn't the story where the heroine would be like... My love will change him. I had no love to give and he had no heart to receive it.

His hands are calloused and hard . But still don't let go.

I glance at my watch; a present given to me by my father. I let go of the devil's hand and adjust the watch on my wrist.

It looks beautiful,  nothing  like its owner or person who gifted it.

Turning away from the watch, I search for Leon's hand again. But he has hid them in his coat's pocket.

Well there goes the warmth.

I sigh and Leon looks at me for a second, grabs my hand and puts both our hands in his pocket.

His action are so swift that all I can do is blink and then move a bit closer to him.

And my face has a tiny smile.

But my heart  is beating like crazy.

After what feels like an eternity, we final arrive at our destination.

This familiar place, my house or atleast it used to be. Even if I close my eyes I can walk through it.

I let go Leon's hand without looking at him.

I wait for him to exit the car. But he doesn't. Instead he says  "I won't be able to accompany you, something came up."

I feel relieved. Thankful that I won't have to be near him. I nod and rush towards the car door. I feel his eyes piercing through me watching my every move. But he says nothing.

The guard closes the car door behind me but I don't look back, the car doesn't move till I'm completely inside .

Once inside I am finally able to breathe freely.

Everything looks just the way it always does. It's a bittersweet feeling knowing  that even if I leave this place it's going to remain the same.

Chloe is standing on the stairs with a timid smile.Embracing her feels calming. Her scent is comforting too. But her words are not.

"Your father is waiting for you in his study. Its a pity that Leon could not join us".

Her words are scripted, she knew Leon would never come for brunch today. I know that too but I still nod and head up stairs to see my father.

Chloe's hand stops me mid step she looks at me with her big round eyes that made men fall for her. They look worn out, too aged with the horrors they have seen.

But she lets my hand go without saying anything.

I hasten my steps not wanting to make my father wait and stop right at the door of the devil's lair. Taking a deep breath I knock on the door.

"Get in"  roars his voice in the empty hallway.

"Hello Father!! How have you been?"  I enquire  making small talk.

He gives no response as I reach the front of his desk.  His desk is also the same as it has always been. A photo of my mother and another of my brother decorate it. But there's no trace of Chloe, myself or my sister.

Knowing that I don't matter to him is something that I am used to yet it still stings somewhere inside my dead heart leaving a dull ache, making my fist clench.

I don't look at his face. My head is bowed waiting for him to say something.  He doesn't say anything but I feel his gaze on me for a brief second. His hands close the document he has, taking off his glasses, he finally speaks  " did you do it? what you were  ordered to do? Did you make me proud?"

His voice is filled with sadistic glee as he motions me to take my watch off. I take it off quickly handing it to him.

"I did " I mumble my voice holding a tinge of regret at betraying my fiance. But I had no choice. At least that's what I tell myself.

"I turned on the tracking chip before putting it in his coat's pocket. Just like you showed me. I have followed your instructions carefully". I clarify so he knows that I have completed my task proficiently.

"You have done well" father praises. And it makes me feel elated even though I would never admit it out loud . I could never compare to my brother in my father's eyes I know that already yet I can't help myself. I still want his  approval. I must be really dumb.

"Leon will be dead by tonight. You must be prepared. If someone asks you anything tell them, that you don't know anything. Do you understand Nanette? " Father instructs.

Leon won't be back. That means..

"Father I thought you wanted him gone after the marriage?" I question without thinking.

My father grabs my face and whispers  in my ear with a smile "Shut up and do as you are told. He has to die. Do you understand... before or after the marriage makes no difference. "

I nod and he lets my face go. My jaw burns as an after effect of his tight grip. I blink so my tears don't fall.

"Get out now and take this with you." Handing me a smartphone.

Wasting no time I get out.

I am on auto pilot as I walk to my room. My head is fully over working itself., thinking about Leon.

Dead.

Him.

Well, I can't say that he didn't have it coming but being a part of it makes my stomach drop. My fist clenches and I swear I still can feel the warmth of Leon's hand.

Is this what guilt feels like.

And that's a wrap for today.
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