Nursery

22

The park was bigger than I thought. The slides and playground equipment had to be big enough for the seventeen-year-olds who were stuck as babies. Which meant there were certain areas I couldn't play at because of my size.

I walked over to the large jungle gym, knowing I had no other choice but to play. Alex wasn't going to let me just stand around the whole time we were there. I pulled myself onto the first step then climbed my way further up until I was standing on the platform leading to three different slides.

I sat down on the rubber floor and pulled my knees to my chest. I could see Alex from where I was. He was reading a book that he had in the car, giving me space to play on my own.

I wanted my parents to be there with me more than anything. I'd grown used to Alpine and their messed up rules. I was used to being a baby and doing childish things. I just wished my parents were with me to get me through it all.

Alex was trying his best but it wasn't the same. I was still struggling to figure things out and what my purpose was. It was hard to just... exist without doing something to some degree. Was my purpose to just annoy Alex for the rest of our lives?

I crawled over to the slide to my right and slid down it. I took a step before my breath caught in my throat. Several feet in front of me was a swingset. Half of it was for normal-sized kids while the other half was for babies. Even though we were all technically babies.

I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked up to it with hesitation. It wasn't anything like the swingset I had just months before. It had rust spots showing and wear from all the kids using it. Mine looked almost knew when mom and dad got it for me.

I didn't hear Alex walked up behind me until I could see him in my peripheral. I had a feeling he knew what I was thinking and feeling.

Rather than tell me to get over it and move on, he knelt down in front of me. He pulled my arms free and pulled me into his chest. I hadn't even realized I was crying until I felt his shirt get wet where my cheek was.

With me in his arms, he stood and walked to the bigger swings. He sat down and slowly moved back and forth to help me stop crying.

I didn't want to admit that I liked being around him. He kept a lot of things from me and made things harder than they needed to be. If it weren't for him, my life would possibly have been better. But without him to protect me, it could have been much worse. I had to keep reminding myself of that.

After several long minutes, my tears stopped but my sniffling continued. My body was tired. My head was tired. I knew too much and it was starting to make my head hurt. Maybe the leaders of Alpine knew what they were doing by keeping everyone in the dark.

Alex lifted my pacifier from where it was dangling off my sweatshirt and pushed the silicone into my mouth. I didn't fight him on it like I normally would have.

"Let's go home and take a nap."

I didn't fight him on the nap, either, and nodded my head.

He rubbed my back as he carried me over to the bench he had previously been sitting on. He grabbed his book before heading to the car.

I rested my head on the side of my car seat as he buckled me in, my eyes getting heavy. I was ready to get back to his apartment and sleep. The bottle I'd had earlier was taking over and I struggled to stay awake.

When we were in sight of the apartment, I let sleep take over. If I wanted to get some amount of sleep, I needed Alex to carry me inside so my chances of sleep were lessened.

He sighed when he stopped the car and looked back at me. He came around to my side and unbuckled me from my car seat.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and fell asleep before he was even to the top of the steps.